I have a sibling who is helpful now. But not proactive. This is going to be a somewhat graphic post.
Most facilities despite price don't go check your LOVED ONE often enough to see if they are in pain. They just don't. Put pain meds on the clock and prn.
Why are they in pain? When bedbound and can't reposition self they are frozen. It is painful.
When they develop decibutus ominous, chronicled in 1800s by charcout, renamed Kennedy Terminal, ulcer, they are in pain. They can't articulate pain at this stage.
Our mom has developed the doll or shark eye, glassy, tearing. Also cheyne stokes breathing.
Hospice RN called me this morning to tell me, she changed our mom's diet to pureed, because the breakfast she ate, as sparse as it was, still in her mouth. Now think about that. Long and hard. Think about it.
Hospice is a godsend. The facility would not have told us this because they are not hospice. With hospice, your loved one will get more services, more eyes, more caring, more treatment.
Most importantly. Your loved one will not be in distress. And isn't that what we want?
Medicare part A pays for it.