Although my mother seems to only be in stage 5 of Alzheimer's, I am already questioning my life and what I got myself into. I read others questions and comments, and most seem to feel like it's their place to do this, and seems content to take care of family members.
My mother and I were never close and I know the only reason she's here is because I am her last resort, there is no where else to go except a care facility. I know in my heart she isn't far enough to put in a care facility, but I am resentful I'm doing this for her. It's only guilt and not a deep love that I'm trying to do this. Don't get me wrong, I treat her good, But I'm not happy. I get no help from other family members, she went there first and her behavior was bad enough that they won't help. My adult children don't really know her. Mom was never a family person and didn't pay much attention to us.
I had just retired and had a life when she showed up in my life. She was on the run and a real drama queen, always a victim and always complaining people mistreat her and people are trying to steal and hurt her. Her lies and fantasies are/were constant. She had turned my life upside down.
Since she made this her last stop and not her first choice, she burned bridges everywhere else. I feel cheated. If the problem were mine and I had gone to her, she would have not taken me in and I know that.
Now, I have a small SS check, and I would be doing something part-time if she wasn't here. I quit my small job when she got here. Deep in my heart feel like it's been ok for her to do things for me financially since I'm available to her 24/7 for the past two years. Now I'm hearing that I wasn't allowed to do that, that I might have to pay money back if she ever goes on Medicaid. What? How would I have ever though that it might be illegal to take help from my mother when I'm helping her. That's just crazy. I had no clue, Now I might be in trouble for helping my wayward mother. When my mother showed up on my doorstep, it never occurred to me I might need a lawyer and I could be in trouble. I didn't want to take her in, but I felt obligated and guilty knowing she had no where to go. At first I believed her stories and felt sorry for her that no one wanted to take care of her.
I know you're going to tell me it's time to go see a lawyer. I've already counseled with two. They seen to be asking enough questions that it's going to open a can of worms for me. I know it will push me in a direction I can't handle. I'm just an ignorant, out of touch simple person that was a loner, and unaware of what life could hand me.