I find myself questioning myself now that my mother has been relieved of her earthly burdens (5/31/2020). On one hand, I know I have already mourned the loss of my mother in the previous few years as she became less herself and more of a child for me to look after, and I did cry at her passing. There are moments when I profoundly feel the loss, but overall, I am relieved for her and for me. It has been such a welcome relief to be able to focus on the good memories before the overwhelming stress of caregiving took over my life. I loved my mother dearly, but she was a tough cookie and made caregiving difficult. For the last 18 months I have felt like I was navigating a mine field every time we interacted. I guess I am worried that I am fooling myself and grief will overwhelm me at some point.
There are no rules for grieving- allow yourself permission to proceed as it feels right. Take one day at a time and have no expectations.
Anyone who tells you that you are grieving improperly is the only one making the mistake.
guiltridden64 - please shed the guilt. Time to focus on YOUR life and live it to the fullest.
Sounds crazy, I know, but sometimes, I feel a sense of peace....Thank her, and tell her you still love her... It's okay.