If my mother with Alzheimer's stays with relatives for full time, but comes to stay with me a couple of days over the summer a few times will this add to her confusion?

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I have taken care of my mother for the past 6 years. Recently I became very ill and out of necessity, had to move my mother to a relatives. They now want to keep her full time as I compensate them for caring for mom. My concern is that they cannot commit to long range continual caretaking. For example, there will be 3 occasions from now to September where they want me to take her home for a days to a few weeks each time. My question is how will this affect a 97 year old with dementia and Alzheimer. Will this add to her confusion? Even though she won't remember the incidents, will she internalize it and feel unwanted. My health issues are not resolved and I don't want to burn any bridges, but I do want to do what is in Mom's best interests even if that means bringing her home and coping with my health issues while caring for her.

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My mom gets further along in her Alzheimer's every month now. What I could do with her 4 months ago is a far cry from now. I took her (in her wheelchair) to the mall last week for some wonderful flavored hot tea and a stroll about the stores. We went into the Build a Bear shop so she could look in all the bins and touch the soft fur of each different toy. But I stayed too long at the mall I think. When we got back there was a dancer in the lobby of the home and it became too much for mom and she became irritated. I had to have someone come and get her, she was getting mad at me because she wanted to leave with me. I asked if she wanted to go to the "living room" of her memory care, she said yes. You know.... I get pretty moody after too much mall, kids running around there, and driving also. Sure would not want some flamenco dancer flouting in my face also!!! But to not be able to get the correct words out must be very fusterating, adding to the irritation. I will keep things simple and then even more simple as each month goes by. I do spend time with her 1 - 2 times a week in the home with the activites she is involved in. I brought out the adding cards we used a month ago and she could not do them at all. Actually, she fell asleep on me. So I sat with her. It is rough, this disease.
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I had a brainstorm after reading your post and called the Alzheimer's Association. They agreed with the doctor's office and said at her stage of the disease she would probably not remember the moving from place to place anyway regardless of the frequency. They advised that I just watch her for increased agitation or confusion and take it from there.

Thank you for your responses. It gave me ideas of where to turn to for guidance.
Also, I also research the web for medical advice. I especially like WebMD.
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I don't know about you, but when myself or someone I know gets a certain disease/medical problem, I start looking it up. My sister always teases me about being the 'doctor' in the family, but I really like being informed is all. And although when it comes down to it I don't have any 'control' to speak of, at least I'm informed. ha So you can start with the web and do your research about your mom's disease and get yourself informed. So if and when you DO change doctors, you'll be able to ask the questions you need to in order to KNOW you've got the right Dr. On a side note, don't take everything you read on the internet as necessarily gospel. I found that one out. Be selective and discerning.
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Thank you for your reply. I just took your advice and called her doctors office and talked to one of the staff. Her reply was amazing. She said as long as she was with people who could comfort her, it should be OK. She said we would just have to watch her and see how she reacts. I have serious reservations about this professional guidance as I have always heard quite the opposite. Maybe I should be looking for a new doctor also ?????
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Can you and your relatives meet together with your mom's doctor and ask he/she these questions? From what I've been told from the health coordinator at the asst. living place that my mother-in-law lives, eventually my m-i-l won't be able to be spontaneous anymore. She'll require more structure and a regular routine, so there will be no more me dropping by and taking her out. Change will NOT be her friend once the alzheimer's gets worse. So you're right, I would be concerned for your mom's mental health, but I wouldn't expect your relatives to just take your word for it. Talk to a professional would be my advice.
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