We live in a two story home and my mom sleeps in the guest room downstairs. The rest of us sleep upstairs.

She is not wandering at this point and is still fairly aware, but does get afraid sleeping downstairs alone.

1. is there some sort of intercom or something we could get so we can hear here (without being intrusive) and to where she could call out to us if she needs us?

2. Should someone be sleeping down there? I don’t like the idea of the kids (teens) camping out down there for the next several years or me regularly sleeping down there, but I want her to be and feel safe.


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Just get a baby monitor. They make ones now that you can talk through, which is nice.
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Reply to MJ1929

A baby monitor would be the most inexpensive way to monitor her. Many of the intercoms require a person to press a button to talk to another a baby monitor you would hear any noise any time with no button for her to press. You can adjust the sensitivity. It you are concerned about privacy avoid a video monitor but I happen to think it would be good to have
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Reply to Grandma1954

My suggestion would be to get some inexpensive security cameras, so you can check on her, (and hear and talk to her)anytime from any place. My husband was bedridden in our living room for the last 22 months of his life, and I purchased the Blink security cameras, so I could check on him overnight without having to get out of bed, and also check on him when I had to run an errand. Mine were the older models, that I could only hear him on them, but they now make them where you can hear the person and talk to them. I found the cameras to be very helpful, and they gave me great peace of mind.
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Reply to funkygrandma59

Upstairs, downstairs, or a private room in a facility, if one has their own room, they are going to be alone.

Find out what she is afraid of, and work on that. Maybe she wakes up at a certain time each night (3 a.m.) and you could check on her.

Baby monitor is a good idea.

Do not neglect to call in an overnight caregiver to sit with her on occasion to give you a break.
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Reply to Sendhelp

I'll second the baby monitor. I had one that was two way so I could speak to mom to ask what she needed or let her know I was on the way. Of course there are many options now that have video as well. One other option - wireless doorbells can make great call bells, she has the button and you carry the chime.

If you get to the point that she is getting up without calling there are alarms that can alert you, either motion activated or pressure sensitive mats.
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Reply to cwillie

I slept on an air mattress on the floor beside my mother’s bed for 9 months after she fell and broke her hip at the age of 89.

Except of course I didn’t really sleep. I did gain 60 pounds, though.

When Mom came to my house after her rehab, I quickly learned that there was NO time between her deciding to get out of bed and her exposing herself to significant risk of falling.

And my teenaged kids? They were watching as both their grandmother and their mom slipped away from them, Grandma from dementia, Mom from exhaustion, stress, grief, and very misplaced guilt.

The questions you’ve asked OP, indicate that you know that your decisions will be part of the lives of your family, “for several years” onward. From my own experience, and looking back to those days, I’m sure MY MOM would have wanted to be in a safe, secure setting where she could receive 24/7 care from people who were trained to do what I, her stumbling, inept but loving daughter, couldn’t do.

The reason I know that? Because when we DID place her in the same residence where she’d received amazing, exemplary rehab care, the door opened to5 1/2 years of a far better life than she’d known for many years previously.

Think about where the balance is. Keep in mind that someone has to hear what comes over the intercom/baby monitor and then sleep is disturbed, there’s a time lapse before reaching her, and because of her own reaction(s) there may be many false alarms.

Expecting teenagers to assume responsibility for an adult who is becoming a different person? Nobody signs up for that.

I hope I don’t sound overly harsh. Your experience may be different from what mine was.

But please, just develop a SET of potential solutions. None of them will necessarily be the “best”, or even “good” solutions, but be sure that they allow those who lived beneath your roof before Mom arrived can have a fair shot at the comfort, companionship, and peace that they knew before Grandma came. That’s only fair, for ALL of you.
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Reply to AnnReid
bolers1 Dec 17, 2020
This answer is much better than mine.
1. Baby monitor
2. Move to a one story home.
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Reply to bolers1

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