Doc went by 20 point list for his beds. He was put into hospice but never got to use it. He was in a psy/evaluation ward. The doc in this hospital said his meds did not work on my husband's brain so he needed his bed back. But, APS stepped in and stopped the discharge and said to wait for the VA to respond to their discharge papers. According to this hospital the VA took too long the VA doc. To me. Before the doc and social worker to get the story from the patient's family first. He wanted to know why my husband was in hospice, he was not dying according to him. He said they had a 20 point list and from this they could tell if someone was dying in less than 3 weeks. He said their beds were reserved for the ones who were dying more likely in less than 2 days no more than 3 weeks. He only had 15 beds. The social worker at the hospital he was at said someone would take him sooner if he was in hospice. They said he was combative and agitated and they would make him more comfortable until they could move him out. I found out later that they gave him a black box drug and morphine. I saw him on Sun. He ate a meal drank with a straw. Knew who I was and reminded. He was doped up from 10 am until 4pm sleeping until I arrived there and he then went back to sleep at 6:30pm and never woke back up and died on Wed. At 5:30am. They said he had late stage dementia. I hired the medical examiner in my county to do a brain autopsy to see if he really had dementia.

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I am so sorry ...I don't have any answers, but I do want to see if anyone has something to offer.
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Yes, I was living with him until Dec. 9, 2017 when he was taken to the ER at the hospital, that night the police told me the dementia patients in our city were having troubles one wanted to fly out the window , my husband tried to go out the window all about 6pm. I stopped him at 6 pm he did not take his meds or dinner he went to sleep, woke back up at 8 pm had a neighbor come down to see he took his meds and at least start to eat dinner. The neighbor went back home . And around 8:30 my husband tried to climb out the window. I tried to stop him, i admit i put my hands on him. He pushed me from the chest. I went in mid air and do not remember anything until i woke back up on the kitchen floor and in alot of pain. He screamed at me to get up off the floor. I said to myself if you got me down here what would you do to me after i get up. stayed on the floor. He finally realized what he had done and said he was sorry. picked up the phone which now was on the floor also. all i can remember was him saying . Help, help USA , 3x i grinned. Finally i asked him to pick me up off the floor could not stand up on my own. he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me up and said he had to go now. So he went out the window. but, he went to the same neighbor and asked them to call the police , he wasn't sure if I was going to call. so he came back home and stood outside the window and kept patting my arm while i was on the phone with 911. so of funny . But, he heard the police car and went into the street to stop them waving his arms , but collapsing on the street face first on the pavement. The police said if they did not stop then , they would have rolled over him. So he ended in the ER overnite until the Soc. Worker called a placement worker who thought it was a BRILLIANT idea to send him to a non-licensed room and board group home. Where he had a huge Melt down and almost hurt the other people in that home. Another BRILLIANT idea by the woman who owned the home to take him by himself to her personal home where he had another huge melt down. try to escape from both homes. She called the placement worker whom I was talking to at the time, so it was a 3 way conv. The placement worker knew a doctor who put him into another hosp. only for 4 days, until another Psy. could come and see and evaluate him and then transferred to their other hospital with a Psy/eval ward. Thats where he was going to die from Dec. 14, 2017 until
Jan. 17, 2018. he died on this day. The doctor said he was in late stage dementia and he was angry for 10 days he said his drugs did not work on his brain and he was going to be transferred out to a nursing home , but no one will take him as he is combative as he said to me. But, since Dec 11, 2017 the first social worker called Adult Protective services against me and said I was incompetent to take care of my husband , I realized she had to save her job, as she did an unsafe discharge to a group home. So the APS called the last social worker and told her he had VA benefits and stopped him from being discharged to a nursing home until the VA came through. Everyone there Doc, Soc. Worker were quite mad and upset she stopped the process and made them wait. The Doc. said he was going to make him comfortable. I did not understand what that meant. On Tues. at 6:30 am the Doc. screams at me . Its not an emergency, but your husband is dying of late stages dementia and we are all in agreement , I said who is we I am not we . He said all his medical team, the soc. worker, Hospice, and you know the woman from APS. Big Scream at this point and says HE IS BEING Discharged today and slammed down the phone end of conversation. Wed. morning another doctor calls and asks me a question at 12:15 am I do not understand i have him call a sister in Las Vegas where she lives 3 hr diff. She calls me back and says this is the bottom line make him comfortable or prolong his live with meds. at this point I still am not aware they are talking about dying. At 1:15 the doc. calls again and says he is being transferred to the medical side of the hosp. I call again 4 min . after 5 am the doctor says I should come right away. I get there at 7am , he died at 5:30 am . I was in shock went into the room and still thought at this moment he was still alive. The nurse came in and gave her condolences. I stood there and screamed and cried. She was embarrassed she thought I knew. I never understood this process. A young doctor came in and said he was shocked I was shocked that i did not know. He asked if the Older Doc. called yesterday and I told me what he said . He was angry and said I was the 2nd patient that doc. did that to. He was going to talk to him. He said he was suppose to tell me he was dying and I had the right to come yesterday and say my good-byes. This has been nothing but a nightmare. On Dec. 31, 2017 a friend and I went to visit my husband he was walking , talking in sentences, eating , laughing, and a week later he was doped up and strapped to a chair in the hallway near the nursing desk. WHAT Happened ? ???? I am angry with myself I should never have called the police on Dec. 9, 2017. I did not know what a psy/eval. ward was and what kind of Drugs they used and what they were suppose to do for him . He was a kind gentle soul.and they made him combative as hell. They used morphine on him to quite him down as the doctor told me. I asked for a print out of the meds from the nurse on Sunday Dec. 14, thats when I found out the doctor lied to me and said he wasn't on the anti-psy drugs , but he was . I talked to my RN sister the next day and she said was he in pain that's what morphine was for , not to stop someone from being combative. I told her how much was given and she said what are they trying to do kill him. He never took the nighttime morphine it was a higher doze . I was there at 4pm he was awake , eating his dinner tray and drinking his ensure. Laughing , reminiscing , with a friend i brought with me we all had a good time. He started to get tired around 6:30pm , according to the doctor he never woke back up until he died at 5:30am Wed. The anti-pys. drug he was on was Thorazine injection of 50mg for aggitation started on Jan 9, 2018, but he did not take at nighttime, just those days that i know of at 10 am each day on 1/12/, 1/13 , 1/14 Sunday and died on Wed. the hospital seems to have a problem in giving me all his medical records for the last 4 days of Dec. and most of Jan. with the med's . They do not know I have the print out for the days of 1/12- 1/14. It has taken me 3x to get what I have so far. still trying this week 2/26/18. Do you think that they must know I must be trying to get to the bottom of this ? What are they hiding from me. They sure did not want me to know he was dying could not even tell me so i could say good-bye. I had his brain autopsy , by the medical ex. of my county. But, i did it after his funeral. I forgot to do a toxicology before funeral. According to the Med. Doc. examiner many doctors play God he said and think they are helping the patient to put him out of his misery. But, he said the only way to tell if someone has dementia or Alz. is through a autopsy of the brain. I have read this much too. Thanks for listening and maybe I will in the end make some sense of this matter and start the grieving process because i have been so angry. This psy. doctor on his ward should have been taken off this ward and maybe even close it down. You had to be 55 years of age and over to use this psy. hospital no one under this age is allowed. My husband was 79 years old. But, the manufacturer puts a black label on the anti-psy. drugs and says not to be used by anyone who is a geriatric patient with late stage dementia to control behavior. It will not do it. It only ramps it up higher. I questioned a psy. and she got made and said how dare i question her she was the doctor. There was 2 psy. that he had and both should find another kind of work , they are way past due.
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Doctors, experienced hospice nurses, medical experts of all kinds may be able to predict more accurately than you or I could how near death is, but absolutely no one knows for sure. Death comes when it comes, and doesn't pay any attention to "20 point" lists.

Why would he die on a Wednesday when the doctor said he was not dying on Friday? Because the doctor was wrong.

It sounds like he died peacefully in his sleep. That part sounds positive.

It will be very, very interesting to see what the autopsy reveals. I had to wait a few months before I got my husband's results. When are you expecting yours?

Were you living with him until recently? Did you think he had dementia?

My condolences on this sad loss.
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That must have been a terrible shock for you.
There are two explanations,
One is the VA Dr is a complete idiot.
The other is that something serious happened like a stroke, heart attack or a blood clot in his lungs.
Do you know what the drug with the black box warning was?
If he was combative and agitated it was very reasonable to sedate him for the safety of himself and the staff.
I assume he was getting a psych evaluation because of uncontrolled behavior?
Do you know what stage of dementia your husband way in? How old was he?
It is a very sad time for you so be sure and take care of yourself. Taking care of a demented loved one is a very difficult task, so be proud of yourself for seeing it through to the end.
Hospice offers grief councilling services for 13 months following a loved ones death so please give it a try even if you don't feel like it. There is no charge and the therapist is a trained grief councillor.
So sorry for your sudden loss, but I do understand the need to keep these beds available for those closest to death.
The time of death is never possible to predict acurately. There are many signs that it could be close but we are not God and only He can choose the time.
Hugs and blessings to you.
Many other people will have condolences and be here with support so keep comming back. There are others who have been through situations they could not understand .
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