My mom lives across the street from me, but started showing signs soon after my father died 7 years ago. The donations to every scammer who calls is one thing, but a little over a month ago she let a man in her house who "persuaded" her to have sex with him. That problem was taken care of by the local police department. I am trying to do everything in my power to keep her safe and not get scammed out of her money. The local authorities ask me if I have POA and I tell them no. They just look at me like I'm the devil. I thought getting POA would be easy, but I was mistaken. I don't know the first thing about what to do. I just found out through this website there is something called Guardianship. Help!

MrsBones1 hello Yes it is important for anyone to have a POA, incase of any situation. A POA acts for the principal, for medical and financial purposes. Medically if a person is unconcience for example and needs emergency medical attention the hospital may need concent and the ability to discuss medical issues and payments or insurance info. Without a POA or guardianship, they can't discuss personal info. with anyone. Not a parent, spouce, child, sibling, no one but a legally appointed person. In other words if you are a legal adult and you can't make a discission verbally a time to give concent, or in writting, no one else can do this in your place without having a guardian or a POA.
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Reply to Wuvsbears

If you click on "Care Topics" on the Blue Ribbon at the top of this website, this website has a list of "Elder Care Attorneys" for every state.  Also, this website has articles about POA and guardianship.  If your Mother is deemed "competent" by her doctor, then you need to have her appoint you as her Durable Power of Attorney  and Medical/Health POA ASAP.  If the doctor thinks that your Mother is "incompetent", then you need to petition for guardianship (if your Mother owns any businesses or farms, then you might have to petition for Conservatorship also), which takes months to process and can cost $10,000 or more.  You can petition for an "Temporary Guardianship" if you feel that your Mother is in immediate danger.  Copy and paste the following article URLs to your browser:
Also, if you want to assist your Mother with her SS benefits, you have two options:
A) Obtain a court appointment as the Social Security beneficiary’s guardian.
B) Apply to the SSA to become the representative payee for the SS benefits.

This website has lots of articles about POAs and guardianship and there are several postings/questions in the "FORUM" about POAs and guardianship that you might find helpful.  Also, go to the "Judicial" website of the state that your Mother and you live in and look at the rules and requirements for POA and Guardianship in your state.  Most Important is that you talk to and hire an ELDER LAW Attorney ASAP who can assist you through this legal "minefield".
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Reply to DeeAnna
MrsBones1 Dec 15, 2018
Thank you for your advice and information. This can all be very overwhelming.
Consult your attorney for his/her advice. Get legal matters taken care soon Before your mom is not able to comprehend what she is authorizing.
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Reply to Roscoe2118

I think you are past the POA stage. Mom should not be living alone. At this point I think guardianship. You can use her money to get it. She will need an evaluation. You need to list everything u notice. For guardianship you need to go to court.

See if her phone has a blocker of some sort. Like she can only receive calls from those put in the phone and visa versa. If not, see if there are any landlines that can do this.

I would say, there were signs when Dad was alive. He just covered it up or didn't realize they were signs. This happens alot, a spouse covering for another. Then family doesn't see it until that spouse passes.
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Reply to JoAnn29
MACinCT Dec 15, 2018
JoAnn29, I went through the exact same process as you describe
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I think you should attempt to take away methods of her making any type of payments if you possibly can. I had to limit my mothers. She was giving monthly to charities, making all sorts of banking choices that made no sense and were costing lots of fees. Her former credit card situation was terrible. In fact I have had to change cards around 4 times to stop payments I could not cancel. It was exhausting. I have finally gotten it to the point where it is under control. We had alot of discussions. I periodically have to tell her I can never give her a blank check. There are a host of things that can go wrong if there is loss of control and costs start to add up significantly. I hope you can make some initial attempts.
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Reply to Riverdale

If mom is still considered competent, which they are in early stages of dementia, she can still assign POA. But, have it prepared by an elder law attorney. They can evaluate whether she is competent, and she only needs to understand the purpose of the POA "in the moment". She may forget signing it even two minutes later. But if she understood in the moment the POA would still be valid.
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Reply to gladimhere

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