My husband has cognitive/memory issues and now he repeats himself with no recollection of doing so. What can I do?

8/28/16-gladimhere: Beach has said he has not had any chemotherapy.

8/28/16 Beachlife: Wow! You got in touch with the National Institute of Health (NIH)! Impressive! I find your story contradictory in the ways you describe your husband's health, e.g. "he never gets sick." But he HAS and a BIG way with the "C" word! You never did say what the injections are. I would bet that along with his cancer that he also has VASCULAR DEMENTIA. As I said the balancing of the checkbook down to the penny might be some kind of anomaly, e.g. maybe he was always a number cruncher and at least was able to retain that skill. IDK. Since you mentioned the out-of-the-norm (for him) math skill, I thought of a mild case of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Again, I don't know (IDK).

8/28/16-Beachlife: As he has had cancer for 13 years, why haven't you gotten DPOA? You mention that you did NOT have "Power of Attorney."

He is being treated at NIH.....the cancer came from the AF and being sprayed with Agent Orange....he would never allow me to have POA....he would never agree to it. And the cancer has never slowed him down and he never considered it a "sickness"....no one knows he has cancer and it has never affected him....never. He has been as healthy as a horse. He had surgery in 2003....then radiation in 2004 and nothing else until now. Again....he never gets "sick"...no colds...no nothing and has never taken a pill....he is the picture of health....and we own 225 acres that HE and I care for....and we have a second home near the beach. He is more active than people who do NOT have cancer or anything else..... he is not a sickly person....at all.... most people do NOT know he has cancer.... but THIS has gotten very bad and I can see it happening right before my eyes. He is denying everything....and that is why I need help. NIH says they are assembling a team to help me. I can't help but wonder if the treatments/injections are somewhat causing it. I do NOT know what is in these injections/treatments.......my husband will not let me go in with him or tell me anything. I asked the doctors and they have not told me and say the treatments are NOT the cause. I do not believe them. I am seeing these results and question them.

Beach, you said in another post that you were seeing these symptoms long before the injections started.

The fact that your husband doesn't consider himself "ill" even though he has Cancer is admirable. But YOU need to bear in mind that Cancer is an illness, and both the disease and the treatments can have wide ranging effects.

Your husband sounds like a wonderful, take charge guy. And your love AND your worry are evident in your post. You ned to tell his doctors all of his worrisome symptoms ( keep a log if you can).

You also might want to let them know that he has not assigned PoA or advanced medical directives, if this is the case. When we get to a certain stage in life, we need to acknowledge that there might be times when we aren't able to be in control, and we need to allow for the possibility that someone we trust will make good, clearheaded decisions.

Perhaps his lawyer would be able to be PoA.

Don't know if this is possible but - since you mentioned AF and Agent Orange, could some of the lashing out be related to Post Traumatic Stress? Has he ever dealt with what he went through during the war? He may have been able to suppress these issues in the past but now with other things adding up - the awareness that somethings not right, the need for further cancer treatments, his concern for you and what you'll have to deal with as things get worse - he's having trouble and lashing out at the only person who he knows will love him and accept him no matter what. Would he talk to someone at the VA - someone who's also been through these things?
But most importantly - make sure you have a safety plan. You may not think it could ever come to that, but it's best to have a plan and not need it, than be caught in a situation and not know what to do or where to turn. Domestic Violence agencies can help with this info. They're free and confidential.

He's never ever had PTSD or anything like that....he flew on the planes and never fought on the ground....not that it means you can't have PTSD....but he always said he was lucky to never have such a thing. He LOVED his years in.... 37 and didn't want to get out when they made him. Again,....he has been such a happy and wonderful man.... but from what I am told by the professionals, this is part of the disease.... and he has conspiracy theories....that people are out to get him.... and I am told that is also normal. But none of these things are typical for him. That is why this is all setting off the light bulb for me that it is something more.... and that it is dementia or Alzheimer's....and so far, the professionals I've talked to are not sure that anything can be reversed because it's gone too far. I am very hopeful that the NIH people can get help for Gary and we are on the right track. I am awaiting the team of doctors there to get together and speak and get back to me. I spoke with someone last evening and told them EVERY THING that I have documented. They were SHOCKED at his behavior. I told them that after every treatment he seems to get worse, right before my eyes. They have never had this happen before, so it is new to them also and they have to figure this out, meanwhile, Gary needs help and I need them to do it ASAP. I am calling around trying to put things into place in case something happens. =) Thank you for your suggestions.

All are excellent insights - as far fetched as it seems, a UTI can cause even hallucinations/mood swings and worse. But i think some of the lashing out could be stemming from your DHs knowledge and frustration AND fear ... that he isn't "in control." Things are happening to him that he doesn't understand and it is everso scarey. Please do follow up with his physician and be adamant that he get evaluated by the person who can do the differential diagnoses - physiologist or neurologist. They are making remarkable strides within the past few years of having medications available to slow down the process of dementia symptoms, and to treat the side effects of the disease [eating, nausea, etc.]. It would be great help to know which type of physical support group you or both of you could attend. Sadly, conditions do change overnight - and as fearsome as that is, knowledge truly is power - it helps you to be prepared. God bless ~ and hold on to your sense of humor and strength of love. They will serve you in good stead.