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OMgosh! Mom is in memory care. I am considering keeping the hearing aid and glasses with me and give them to mom during my weekly visit. Although I have been told thats not a good idea. Shes totally deaf in one ear and 90% in the other, can see distance but not up cloose. The staff cant seem to help much in keeping track of them and not sure its fair to expect them too considering her need to constantly rearranging her stuff. Also she roams into other rooms leaving things behind as she goes. Sometimes I find her closets full with her clothes other times there is nothing in the closets or dresser and shes wearing someone elses clothing. All her stuff is marked with her name.

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Totally unacceptable facility!
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Yep, Ive been so frustrated with keeping track of her clothing, bedding, brush, hair clips, you name it! I like the idea of of keeping a listing of her clothes on her closet (and pictures even). And I agree that the more random visits your able to do the better attention the staff will take. Makes them more accountable when they know someones watching and checking up. Mom is incontenate now and my current peev is keeping her carpet clean from accidents. I cannot tolerate her room smelling. Its imperative to document items that are constantly going missing or cleanliness issues and providing to the head nurse/staff. Keep it friendly but let them know you intend to pursue a level of support and accountabilty from them. We do pay a lot of money and as difficult as it is to keep track of stuff the effort has to be made. One does have to be realistic considering the circumstances but if you find that things are disappearing without ever turning back up then you need to take steps to address it with the staff.
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For the amount of money we are paying for our loved one to be in the NH, they should keep close tabs on the glasses and hearing aids. I know Mom has been missing her glasses sometimes. So I go to the front desk and ask about them and they pull out some generic women's glasses and give them to me for her. Next time they are lost and its another pair. I think the residents are stealing them.
Even Mom gets confused. She will be going for a walk in the NH, see a bed and go lie down on it and take a nap, in someone else room. She doesn't understand.
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It's so maddening ... there is SO much stigma against a dementia or any person suffering from memory deficit. It would be so much worse ... back into the days that the words weren't even mentioned nor ailment acknowledged, if the NFL, boxers, hockey players, and other ahtletes weren't coming forth with the impact that concussions had on their brains. They will never need to deal with home care, nursing home abuse, family dynamics, financial nightmares, etc. Even President Reagan was "hidden" - despite Mrs. Reagan's efforts. Sadly, Glenn Campbell is also in a "Memory Care" facility. WHY THE SOCIAL STIGMA? It starts at the doctors' offices - i couldn't even get a referral [though none was required] on where to have my lovely mom evaluated so that she could be properly treated. How long does the pain last?

Do what you can for your loved one ... the disease isn't immediately fatal, but in hindsight, i see that it does errode one's faculties daily. Report theft and loss - in writing - to the facility. Give it to the head nurse first - and work your way up, so that you've got it documented and do your own body checks -- make SURE your loved one is not being singled out. Be sure the name/room number is one each item either sewn in or by using a Sharpie pen. Make sure the roommates, nurses SEE the new items: "do you think this would be an appropriate style shoe for mom/dad?" [Makes certain they are aware he has new shoes]. Do the same with clothing. i had a list on the door of the closet of the color and type of clothing and the number of each type of clothing - and i did Mom's laundry. They SAW me checking it off - "out for laundry" and so forth. That sheet of paper - itemizing everything that was Mom's [even the wall clock] proved very helpful. She lost one pair of socks. i gained 3 pr of noslip slippers to make up for it :) - but they felt accountable. Gosh i wish i could spend just one more day with Mom - reading to her, listening, or just being outside if she wished. Her biggest pleasure was visiting the bird cage. i brought her home as soon as i could - they stopped doing PT for her shoulder replacement.

When the "Speech Therapist" asks to speak with your loved one alone - stay within listening distance, but not that the therapist knows you're there. Judge for yourself the type/topic of questions they ask. "How many railroad stops are between here and where you live?" "Who was president when the Louisiana Purchase took place?" "What was the Gettysburg Address about?" Oh the obscurity of the questions are absurd! Mom could name 3 of her children -- the therapist never asked about the other two: they passed away 2 - 15 years prior, and lived out of state. Memory Care sadly means that they are treated as though they do NOT have a working brain, emotions, etc. Change the hours you visit, if possible - jumble them up, or if you have a sibling, have them do drop-in surprise stops. Each time - if there is someone new on duty - be sure to introduce yourself -- the ones who get visited the most frequent - get treated better. i've seen it first hand. To put any worker on guard, ask to see the State's Book on Care - that's the State;s review info at last inspection. i even had to bring Mom her own food. They took food away from her - and refused to give her Ensure. $245 a day for a bed and pillow and a assurance you may wake up in the clothing you went to bed in. Pray a lot for guidance - it helps!
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Stiuffed animals staff gathers up and disposes.
Church groops come in with clothes.They will give one set eaxch pt and throw away rest.
one he in now I told church would have them put in goodwill box.They stuffed the box full. and on outside.
I bouvht him 14 pair of lounge pants he can brp himself. that was after 7 pair disappeared. he has 2 and one is new pair. Now the kicker I Do his laundry. he had his own bed throw and bed pads and bathsheets new.
Doesnt make any difference.
I saw staff take all clothes from lady closet and husband wanted to know whappened to the clorthes he bought.
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My mom's hearing was ok, and her eyesight (she'd had cataract surgery). She wore cheapie dollar store glasses to read when she was at home. Mom was a great reader!... Of course, once in the nursing home, they got lost/broken constantly, but luckily they were cheap to replace, we didn't need to replace expensive prescription glasses. And also lucky her hearing was good.....I tried the lanyard with the reading glasses, bought several, but somehow the lanyards and/or the glasses disappeared! It WAS frustrating....however, Mom had declined to the point where she didn't read books or magazines any more. She looked at the pictures and when I was there I would scrounge up a pair of readers somewhere, she would look at a magazine and we would read out loud to each other....As for other stuff disappearing, it's a real problem. Everything labelled with black marker. I bought replacement clothes from the thrift store for quite a while. People would kindly send her new clothes for birthday or Christmas, but I just KNEW the nice new clothes would 'disappear' overnight, who knows where. I brought her little stuffed animals, from Walmart or even the thrift store (sprayed them with Lysol a week ahead of time to let dry), in fact I brought two or three every time and gave them to the ladies at her table for their own. (She had some big beautiful lifelike stuffed animals, they disappeared right away, search as I might thru that nursing home floor.)
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i concur with the majority: please help your mom retain the option/ability to interact with her surroundings. i cannot imagine what thoughts, fears, concerns, or joy/dreams they have that they're unable to express. The senses keep us in tact with the environmental and social surroundings. Oh to see and hear the birds! And the ability to hear music, or even your voice and see your face. Does her vision permit the use of OTC or bulk purchase readers available at drugstores or sams club/costco? A lanyard may be a good idea, too,, for the glasses. Perhaps an easy=to use container may help her put the hearing aids into when not in use.

My Mom was legally blind and unable to walk during her bought with vascular dementia. Over a few short weeks, she stopped talking - - - oh how i miss her.

Vision and hearing are defininetly medical / health aids that are vital to one's mental health, demeanor, and even their personal choices - i'd try to preserve them while she can. God bless ~
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Beckytodd1: Oral sex is going on at this facility ?! That should be reported to the staff right away! Good grief! Totally UNACCEPTABLE!
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lama lover residents. and one lady resident is determined to tame my spouces roommate who hsuffered stroke and has dementia thinks she is his wife what she tells him. At firsg I thought she was you know when she said she was going to take him away from his wife. well he protests when his wife comes insists co resident is his wife now. Her bras and panties are in his drawer when I returned socks witth his name on them
er and pink slippers under his bed. And his wife is upset. One nurse stooed her from feely smooching in diningroom. but this nurse works in another unit usually. It seems most everytime there is someone filling in. Doesnt do much for continuity of care. my spouce I bought 14pair lounge bottoms he cant really dress himself and little use of fine motor and shoulder due to broken bones. see he is helping neighbor like I told him. And he Actually appologized when he ranoff when I canme to bate him and shave and shampoo. What gets me besides the shock when aid yelled he had his thing in her mouth and yelling at tjem saying there nasty. I think my mouth dropped open. Ive srrn a lot but this place takes the cake. Was uopset when came in and saw rough treatment going and getting ehrrlchair creeping away and roughly spinning it around and shoving pt shoulder. pinching or slapping dementia pt back. These I know. I advocated for quite a few to be off st. Sometimes dont know if this is better.
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I used to refer to my mother's missing glasses being in the "Black Hole for Glasses". To this day, I still don't understand why there was an issue at all, and why the staff wan't more on top of the problem. The trash can was emptied daily. Can someone explain why that wasn't checked before it was emptied? (I'm sincerely not being sarcastic). When clothes went to the laundry, wouldn't a pair of glasses have been obvious? If another resident took them, would that not have been obvious if that other resident was wearing them, or had put them in their dresser? If this is a memory care unit, why were residents allowed in another resident's room? I totally get it that the staff is busy, and sincerely appreciated ALL that they did for my mother, but again the residents are in memory care for a reason.
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My dad was in a nursing home and he was constantly wearing other peoples clothes and his items kept coming up missing. But it was not him considering that he was in a wheel chair and could not dress himself and his things was also marked.Don't always blame your mother, consider the staff.
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First, all staff in nursing facilities do not steal and, yes, it happens. I am not denying that. But, let us try to give positive, possible solutions. (1) Eyeglasses-Buy the lanyards and attach them to the glasses. Add safety clips to each side of the lanyards and ask for them to be attached to her blouse or top. This can be noted in her daily shift chart so the staff can be reminded. The hearing aids, I do not know how you can remedy that. Ask the Council On Aging, churches, organizations, relatives and friends to do a letter writing campaign to the hearing aid companies and eye glass companies asking for an inexpensive remedy for some type of permanent attachments to the items. Another idea is for the companies to make some type of beeping sound when removed that can be turned off when located or put away. I have found that contacting the local media and asking for assistance with a concern really gives a strong support. Asking for a meeting with the staff and telling them the cost of replacing these items and how you appreciate their help, might cause them to be more alert to the situation. I pray that the problem will be resolved. I will write letters too.
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My Mother-in-law has dementia and we had a rough time with glasses,
We took her to get her eyes checked and got new glasses, and within one day
she had ran over them with her wheel chair. She would take them off and place them in her lap, and they would fall off. She would also sit on them and break them. We replaced them and got them fixed a few times, and then gave up and she wore her old ones. She wanted the hear aid really bad, but then did not want to mess with it. She kept pulling it out when she touched her hair, or combed it.
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Beckytodd1: Who is having sex in the rooms? Good grief!
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I work as a nurse on a dementia unit. We have people with hearing aids They are put on in the am and removed at night.
They are both attached by string to a clip and fastened to their clothing! When pulled out they fall harmlessly to the back and are held by the sting. Ask your hearing aid consultant to do this for you. The resident who continue to pull them off and lose them we only put them on when family comes. And they can monitor the use so as not to lose them. GLASSES need the name on them. Also can be done by the eye glass shop. None of these are 100 percent. It is unreasonable for staff to be totally accountable when people have dementia. Also check clothing at night before laundry and garbage - these things get wrapped in tissue. Teeth are another expensive item that need a name on them. Staff must work with families.
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CCRhea: Please come back on here.
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bluecube: Digital aides alert you when the battery is dead.
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I agree about staff taking stealing.
I set up trap and watched Charge nurse seal my phone then ran out thre door with it.
where he is they say they are not responsible for personal belongings. Since he has physical limitations and they dont change his clothes or bathe him. I went in friday and bathed him cut the matts out of his hair and almost 1/4 inch of yellow scalp skin scraped off through his hair. Largo Medical Health and Rehab. dementia care is a joke. They.eander around lost in and out rooms sex in rooms. stiole his wheelchair
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Listening to others here in senior living I hear many problems caring for HA for spouses with dementia - knowing when it is time to change batteries or if problem is wax in the ear, hard to find when misplaced, often need to be repaired.

Not sure how useful this will be. I have hearing issues and do not want to pay thousands for HA. Bought a personal amplifier from Amazon for $60 and it works great. It hangs over my good ear and a part inserts into the canal. There is an on-off switch and volume control. Uses larger batteries which are easy to change. Easy to find as it is larger than many in ear aids. Smallest ear bug was a bit large for my ear so I trimmed it with scissors.
Would such an amplifier could be a good backup or even replacement for a HA?
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I have the same issues that you do with my mom in the Dementia unit of her facility. She has lost bridgework, glasses, clothing, and at one point a chair of her's was removed for cleaning and never returned. My questions and requests for the return of her things seems to fall on deaf ears. She also leaves things and takes things from other people's rooms. And, she throws things away. Her clothing is all labeled with black permanent marker. I have decided that as long as she's dressed, whether they're her clothes or not, I don't fuss. She doesn't care. I buy clothing from thrift stores and don't spend a lot. She has macular degeneration and can't see well even with glasses, so I haven't replaced the ones she lost or threw away a year ago. It's a no-win situation, and as long as my mother is well-taken care of and supervised, which she is, I don't stress about it.
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Many NHs/ALs not liable for lost eyeglasses, dentures, etc.
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CCRhea: It is quite common in these places for items to go missing. Since your loved one has Alzheimer's, she is not expected to nor can she keep track of her hearing aide, eyeglasses or clothing. No doubt the staff is actually UNDERSTAFFED so their ability to keep track of patients' possessions is severely impaired. So unfortunately as you can't install a video camera in the room that she is in (and it wouldn't be monitored anyway), you are stuck with the alternative, which is "does she really miss the aide and eyeglasses?"
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Dad, who lives with us, has been a real pill about his hearing aids. He doesn't like them. He refuses to wear them. When he did wear them, he fiddled with them until they stopped working, then he said "Why wear them? They don't work anyway." Not anymore, they don't! He still thinks he needs to carry them around, and he puts them in strange places and then can't find them. They end up in his pants pockets in the laundry all the time. We rescue them. They end up in drawers, under the bed, in his bedding, in the bathroom, between sofa cushions. We finally lost track of them, gave up, and just let him be deaf. He'd fiddled them into worthless pieces of plastic anyway. Getting them fixed (if possible) involves taking a day off of work to drive him with them to the VA center an hour away. He's eligible for new ones next year, but really, is it worth it? :(
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My Dad's audiologist feels strongly he needs his hearing aids and filled out a form for insurance. We already had the facility keep them in the med cart but that didn't keep him from losing them during the day. Fairly certain one probably ended up in laundry and they just didn't tell me. He's down to one, which is still being held in the med cart, but I am not replacing them. It's not to be mean. I no longer ask them to even try to put the one hearing aid he has left in. His glasses were lost right away when he moved in. We were able to take him for his eye checkup the first year, but now he won't respond to cues or cooperate with me so I cannot take him out alone. The activity director has observed no changes in his participation and comprehension without them. However, he's pretty late stage. I hate it, but just couldn't keep buying hearing aids for someone who doesn't know what's going on or where he is. I feel terrible, but this is life and reality unless money is no object.
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I think the best idea is painting the frames with nail varnish or take them to a jeweler and have them engraved with the owners name. If they are only used for reading buy a few drug store pairs and call it good. In NYS it is illegal to sell anything stronger than 2.5 and I now need 4.0 but they are easy enough to buy for a few $s on the Internet. As far as the hearing aids are concerned. there are now some that can be permanently placed in the ear and have to be changed every three months by an Audiologist. Have no idea of cost.
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mom's memory care kept her aids and glasses in the medication room every night but she would remove aids and lose them. They said to get the clips to attach to back of her collar. Hers are "in the ear" and the clips are for behind the ear. We all decided for me to just bring them home :(
Her glasses are wire framed but we attached a label with tape curled around skinny part that slides (isnt stuck) .
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Sorry, I forgot about the hearing aids. My mom had one too, and I asked miracle ear what I should do about her losing it, and they gave me a little pouch to put on her night table. And I told the staff to put it in there every night. And left a note also to remind them. They did. My mother never messed with her hearing aid, she pretty much left it in her ear. The only way I knew the battery was dead is when she couldn't hear me.
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Maybe buy a gadget hound or other device that will track lost items. It probably wouldn't work for the hearing aids but maybe for the glasses. You put a tiny transmitter on the item. Maybe keep the transmitter with you and use it when you go visit if she is missing things. Sharper Image also may have something in their store.
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20eagle16,

I am really impressed and humbled. 25-30 hours each week!

I spend about 45 minutes each day with my mom.

There is just no rule book, is there? I know people who visit once a week for an hour. I had a friend who visited four times a year. From what we read here, there are siblings who never visit. No rules.
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My mom's hearing aid went missing. When I told a nurse about it, she copped an attitude with me and said that the hearing aid should have been locked up each night. She was a substitute nurse, not familiar to me. No one had ever told me about locking up anything, or I would have done it. I am always very respectful of the nurses and have a great relationship with them. I am not sure where this witch came from, but I will be happy if she never comes again. The nursing home also really screwed up when it came to replacing the hearing aids, which is to say they did nothing. In the end, the department that takes care of hearing aids at the nursing home ripped into the floor staff for not following protocol. In the end, I was able to get new ones for Mom through my own efforts. I am with Mom about 25-30+ hours each week. She only uses one hearing aid. I put it in when I see her, and I take it out and keep it with me when I leave. On this issue, the hearing aid, I do not feel that I can count on the nursing home. Other than that, I am pleased to say that the nursing staff has been amazing.
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