Mom constantly losing hearing aid and glasses in memory care, at what point do you stop replacing them? - AgingCare.com

Mom constantly losing hearing aid and glasses in memory care, at what point do you stop replacing them?

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OMgosh! Mom is in memory care. I am considering keeping the hearing aid and glasses with me and give them to mom during my weekly visit. Although I have been told thats not a good idea. Shes totally deaf in one ear and 90% in the other, can see distance but not up cloose. The staff cant seem to help much in keeping track of them and not sure its fair to expect them too considering her need to constantly rearranging her stuff. Also she roams into other rooms leaving things behind as she goes. Sometimes I find her closets full with her clothes other times there is nothing in the closets or dresser and shes wearing someone elses clothing. All her stuff is marked with her name.

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Totally unacceptable facility!
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Yep, Ive been so frustrated with keeping track of her clothing, bedding, brush, hair clips, you name it! I like the idea of of keeping a listing of her clothes on her closet (and pictures even). And I agree that the more random visits your able to do the better attention the staff will take. Makes them more accountable when they know someones watching and checking up. Mom is incontenate now and my current peev is keeping her carpet clean from accidents. I cannot tolerate her room smelling. Its imperative to document items that are constantly going missing or cleanliness issues and providing to the head nurse/staff. Keep it friendly but let them know you intend to pursue a level of support and accountabilty from them. We do pay a lot of money and as difficult as it is to keep track of stuff the effort has to be made. One does have to be realistic considering the circumstances but if you find that things are disappearing without ever turning back up then you need to take steps to address it with the staff.
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For the amount of money we are paying for our loved one to be in the NH, they should keep close tabs on the glasses and hearing aids. I know Mom has been missing her glasses sometimes. So I go to the front desk and ask about them and they pull out some generic women's glasses and give them to me for her. Next time they are lost and its another pair. I think the residents are stealing them.
Even Mom gets confused. She will be going for a walk in the NH, see a bed and go lie down on it and take a nap, in someone else room. She doesn't understand.
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It's so maddening ... there is SO much stigma against a dementia or any person suffering from memory deficit. It would be so much worse ... back into the days that the words weren't even mentioned nor ailment acknowledged, if the NFL, boxers, hockey players, and other ahtletes weren't coming forth with the impact that concussions had on their brains. They will never need to deal with home care, nursing home abuse, family dynamics, financial nightmares, etc. Even President Reagan was "hidden" - despite Mrs. Reagan's efforts. Sadly, Glenn Campbell is also in a "Memory Care" facility. WHY THE SOCIAL STIGMA? It starts at the doctors' offices - i couldn't even get a referral [though none was required] on where to have my lovely mom evaluated so that she could be properly treated. How long does the pain last?

Do what you can for your loved one ... the disease isn't immediately fatal, but in hindsight, i see that it does errode one's faculties daily. Report theft and loss - in writing - to the facility. Give it to the head nurse first - and work your way up, so that you've got it documented and do your own body checks -- make SURE your loved one is not being singled out. Be sure the name/room number is one each item either sewn in or by using a Sharpie pen. Make sure the roommates, nurses SEE the new items: "do you think this would be an appropriate style shoe for mom/dad?" [Makes certain they are aware he has new shoes]. Do the same with clothing. i had a list on the door of the closet of the color and type of clothing and the number of each type of clothing - and i did Mom's laundry. They SAW me checking it off - "out for laundry" and so forth. That sheet of paper - itemizing everything that was Mom's [even the wall clock] proved very helpful. She lost one pair of socks. i gained 3 pr of noslip slippers to make up for it :) - but they felt accountable. Gosh i wish i could spend just one more day with Mom - reading to her, listening, or just being outside if she wished. Her biggest pleasure was visiting the bird cage. i brought her home as soon as i could - they stopped doing PT for her shoulder replacement.

When the "Speech Therapist" asks to speak with your loved one alone - stay within listening distance, but not that the therapist knows you're there. Judge for yourself the type/topic of questions they ask. "How many railroad stops are between here and where you live?" "Who was president when the Louisiana Purchase took place?" "What was the Gettysburg Address about?" Oh the obscurity of the questions are absurd! Mom could name 3 of her children -- the therapist never asked about the other two: they passed away 2 - 15 years prior, and lived out of state. Memory Care sadly means that they are treated as though they do NOT have a working brain, emotions, etc. Change the hours you visit, if possible - jumble them up, or if you have a sibling, have them do drop-in surprise stops. Each time - if there is someone new on duty - be sure to introduce yourself -- the ones who get visited the most frequent - get treated better. i've seen it first hand. To put any worker on guard, ask to see the State's Book on Care - that's the State;s review info at last inspection. i even had to bring Mom her own food. They took food away from her - and refused to give her Ensure. $245 a day for a bed and pillow and a assurance you may wake up in the clothing you went to bed in. Pray a lot for guidance - it helps!
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Stiuffed animals staff gathers up and disposes.
Church groops come in with clothes.They will give one set eaxch pt and throw away rest.
one he in now I told church would have them put in goodwill box.They stuffed the box full. and on outside.
I bouvht him 14 pair of lounge pants he can brp himself. that was after 7 pair disappeared. he has 2 and one is new pair. Now the kicker I Do his laundry. he had his own bed throw and bed pads and bathsheets new.
Doesnt make any difference.
I saw staff take all clothes from lady closet and husband wanted to know whappened to the clorthes he bought.
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My mom's hearing was ok, and her eyesight (she'd had cataract surgery). She wore cheapie dollar store glasses to read when she was at home. Mom was a great reader!... Of course, once in the nursing home, they got lost/broken constantly, but luckily they were cheap to replace, we didn't need to replace expensive prescription glasses. And also lucky her hearing was good.....I tried the lanyard with the reading glasses, bought several, but somehow the lanyards and/or the glasses disappeared! It WAS frustrating....however, Mom had declined to the point where she didn't read books or magazines any more. She looked at the pictures and when I was there I would scrounge up a pair of readers somewhere, she would look at a magazine and we would read out loud to each other....As for other stuff disappearing, it's a real problem. Everything labelled with black marker. I bought replacement clothes from the thrift store for quite a while. People would kindly send her new clothes for birthday or Christmas, but I just KNEW the nice new clothes would 'disappear' overnight, who knows where. I brought her little stuffed animals, from Walmart or even the thrift store (sprayed them with Lysol a week ahead of time to let dry), in fact I brought two or three every time and gave them to the ladies at her table for their own. (She had some big beautiful lifelike stuffed animals, they disappeared right away, search as I might thru that nursing home floor.)
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i concur with the majority: please help your mom retain the option/ability to interact with her surroundings. i cannot imagine what thoughts, fears, concerns, or joy/dreams they have that they're unable to express. The senses keep us in tact with the environmental and social surroundings. Oh to see and hear the birds! And the ability to hear music, or even your voice and see your face. Does her vision permit the use of OTC or bulk purchase readers available at drugstores or sams club/costco? A lanyard may be a good idea, too,, for the glasses. Perhaps an easy=to use container may help her put the hearing aids into when not in use.

My Mom was legally blind and unable to walk during her bought with vascular dementia. Over a few short weeks, she stopped talking - - - oh how i miss her.

Vision and hearing are defininetly medical / health aids that are vital to one's mental health, demeanor, and even their personal choices - i'd try to preserve them while she can. God bless ~
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Beckytodd1: Oral sex is going on at this facility ?! That should be reported to the staff right away! Good grief! Totally UNACCEPTABLE!
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lama lover residents. and one lady resident is determined to tame my spouces roommate who hsuffered stroke and has dementia thinks she is his wife what she tells him. At firsg I thought she was you know when she said she was going to take him away from his wife. well he protests when his wife comes insists co resident is his wife now. Her bras and panties are in his drawer when I returned socks witth his name on them
er and pink slippers under his bed. And his wife is upset. One nurse stooed her from feely smooching in diningroom. but this nurse works in another unit usually. It seems most everytime there is someone filling in. Doesnt do much for continuity of care. my spouce I bought 14pair lounge bottoms he cant really dress himself and little use of fine motor and shoulder due to broken bones. see he is helping neighbor like I told him. And he Actually appologized when he ranoff when I canme to bate him and shave and shampoo. What gets me besides the shock when aid yelled he had his thing in her mouth and yelling at tjem saying there nasty. I think my mouth dropped open. Ive srrn a lot but this place takes the cake. Was uopset when came in and saw rough treatment going and getting ehrrlchair creeping away and roughly spinning it around and shoving pt shoulder. pinching or slapping dementia pt back. These I know. I advocated for quite a few to be off st. Sometimes dont know if this is better.
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I used to refer to my mother's missing glasses being in the "Black Hole for Glasses". To this day, I still don't understand why there was an issue at all, and why the staff wan't more on top of the problem. The trash can was emptied daily. Can someone explain why that wasn't checked before it was emptied? (I'm sincerely not being sarcastic). When clothes went to the laundry, wouldn't a pair of glasses have been obvious? If another resident took them, would that not have been obvious if that other resident was wearing them, or had put them in their dresser? If this is a memory care unit, why were residents allowed in another resident's room? I totally get it that the staff is busy, and sincerely appreciated ALL that they did for my mother, but again the residents are in memory care for a reason.
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