Mom constantly losing hearing aid and glasses in memory care, at what point do you stop replacing them?

I've been doing a fair amount of reading on this subject, there are some good threads here on AgingCare. I personally feel that impaired hearing and vision exacerbate dementia, visual and aural cues help to keep them oriented. I also understand that these items are not cheap and you can't continue to keep replacing them.
Do you have any idea how or when they go missing? HAs are small enough to get mixed in the laundry or garbage if she puts them in a pocket or wraps them in a tissue, but the glasses should be more difficult to lose. Small children who have HAs can have them tethered to a lanyard, it is beyond me why hearing specialists don't advise that for those with dementia. I have also read that some nursing homes will keep such items on the med cart overnight and hand them out in the morning, which would be helpful if they get lost in her room after she removes them. As for the glasses, mark them clearly with her name, perhaps pick a unique, fun frame so they are easily recognized and she is less apt to give them away, and try a lanyard for them as well.

We had this problem with my husband and his eyeglasses.The trick is to know or observe if the person misses the hearing aids or the glasses. Once they don't look for them and don't know they are missing, we can stop providing them. Give them to the staff in case the person asks for them or seems to be looking for them or questioning something for which they need the aids to understand something they want to know.
Otherwise, it is the person's way to decrease the stimulation they receive that they no longer comprehend anyway.We need to understand that it is not about us, not about what someone else may say about our not providing glasses or hearing aids. it is about the memory care resident,who often just wants to be left alone.

With my grandparents in rest homes, we found that things were taken by the help. It is very cruel to blame the patient when there are a lot of help in those rest homes that "steal from the patients". We always took the precious possessions home because they will all be gone if you don't make arrangements to replace them with cheaper items/

As we all know, hearing aids and glasses are very expensive. Depending on your income will depend on how often you can replace these items, but really you should never have to replace them out of your own pocket, this isn't even and expense you should be worrying about.

If she's in memory care, how do you know these items aren't really being stolen by another resident? You don't. I know you can't be there all the time, so you can't know every little thing that goes on when you're not there. Anytime someone's in memory care, you'll be faced with other residents with memory issues, and one of those problems your face is other residents wandering in and out of other peoples rooms and even picking up stuff they mistake as their's. I'm surprised the memory care staff aren't putting up some kind of barricade across the doors of residence having stuff coming up missing. I have noticed this in facilities, and this is supposed to actually help stop wandering residents from entering other peoples rooms. If a specific resident has a habit of entering a specific room, staff are supposed to put up a special barricade to stop the behavior. It sounds to me like something needs done where the memory care staff are involved. If this is a fault of an oversight of the memory care staff, they are responsible for the lost items since they keep people in their care. Next time you must replace lost glasses or hearing aids, I would just bill the memory care facility for it. Meanwhile, you should contact the "head department of nursing" for that nursing home and explain what's going on. Explain that next time you must replace lost glasses or hearing aids, the facility will be billed for it and you won't be paying for it. This will get the head department of nursing moving toward getting to the bottom of why the glasses and hearing aids keep coming up missing.

If the facility won't take responsibility to resolve the problem, I personally would contact APS and keep reporting the problem until they act. I would also contact the patient's doctor and alert that doctor as well as the providers for the glasses and hearing aids. One other resource that would be a very good idea to contact if all else fails is an elder care attorney who can help guide you through this type of issue

We had the same problem. I eventually gave up on the hearing aids, because Dad just refused to wear them. But the glasses, he needed. He lost them almost daily. It turned out to be one of the other residents who would wander into Dad's room and take his stuff. And the glasses would be right out in the open on his bedside table while he slept. She'd wander away with it and leave it everywhere. (Dad was not mobile enough to be the one moving this stuff.) Unfortunately all the residents had dementia, and the other residents would just pick up the glasses and put them on. They were to confused to know they weren't seeing right with them, and no one could say, just by looking at them, that those weren't the right glasses. (All the men's glasses look the same) Found those glasses in the hall, in dining room on the sofa in lounge. And in the nurses station where they had a box of at least 20 pair of lost and never claimed glasses. What was annoying was seeing another resident wearing a pair that Iwas fairly sure were Dad's, but nothing could be done to get them back. (I even offered to take them to the optician to have them determine if the perscription matched. ) Replaced those glasses twice in eight months time. $$$! The second time, I took nail polish and painted the end of one stem bright green and the other bright pink. That way whenever I saw them on another resident I could easily identify them and get them back. (puting tape or label on the stem didn't work, would just come off. )

Get her a few inexpensive pairs and keep a pair. Put her name on them, or mark of some sort to identify, in a way it can't be removed. Take a picture of them , and when they show up missing show it to the staff. Really not much you can do in this situation, it can be frustrating.

Putthatknifeawayis so right.

Less than a year ago, we bought my mom new glasses for $600.00. the next day, when I asked where they were, she told me that she doesn't wear glasses.

That's it. No more glasses. And no more newspaper subscription, which is very expensive. The subscription ran out and I thought I would wait to see if she mentions it. No mention so far.

So, we just keep playing cards. It is nice. short, sweet visits.

Mom has been in an AL for three weeks and the first weekend she lost her glasses which she wears constantly. They were found. They r wire frames so hard to write her name on. They so have a decoration at the corners so daughter recommended I take a picture of them for easy identification.

My mom's hearing aid went missing. When I told a nurse about it, she copped an attitude with me and said that the hearing aid should have been locked up each night. She was a substitute nurse, not familiar to me. No one had ever told me about locking up anything, or I would have done it. I am always very respectful of the nurses and have a great relationship with them. I am not sure where this witch came from, but I will be happy if she never comes again. The nursing home also really screwed up when it came to replacing the hearing aids, which is to say they did nothing. In the end, the department that takes care of hearing aids at the nursing home ripped into the floor staff for not following protocol. In the end, I was able to get new ones for Mom through my own efforts. I am with Mom about 25-30+ hours each week. She only uses one hearing aid. I put it in when I see her, and I take it out and keep it with me when I leave. On this issue, the hearing aid, I do not feel that I can count on the nursing home. Other than that, I am pleased to say that the nursing staff has been amazing.

20eagle16,

I am really impressed and humbled. 25-30 hours each week!

I spend about 45 minutes each day with my mom.

There is just no rule book, is there? I know people who visit once a week for an hour. I had a friend who visited four times a year. From what we read here, there are siblings who never visit. No rules.

Maybe buy a gadget hound or other device that will track lost items. It probably wouldn't work for the hearing aids but maybe for the glasses. You put a tiny transmitter on the item. Maybe keep the transmitter with you and use it when you go visit if she is missing things. Sharper Image also may have something in their store.

Sorry, I forgot about the hearing aids. My mom had one too, and I asked miracle ear what I should do about her losing it, and they gave me a little pouch to put on her night table. And I told the staff to put it in there every night. And left a note also to remind them. They did. My mother never messed with her hearing aid, she pretty much left it in her ear. The only way I knew the battery was dead is when she couldn't hear me.

mom's memory care kept her aids and glasses in the medication room every night but she would remove aids and lose them. They said to get the clips to attach to back of her collar. Hers are "in the ear" and the clips are for behind the ear. We all decided for me to just bring them home :(
Her glasses are wire framed but we attached a label with tape curled around skinny part that slides (isnt stuck) .

I think the best idea is painting the frames with nail varnish or take them to a jeweler and have them engraved with the owners name. If they are only used for reading buy a few drug store pairs and call it good. In NYS it is illegal to sell anything stronger than 2.5 and I now need 4.0 but they are easy enough to buy for a few $s on the Internet. As far as the hearing aids are concerned. there are now some that can be permanently placed in the ear and have to be changed every three months by an Audiologist. Have no idea of cost.

My Dad's audiologist feels strongly he needs his hearing aids and filled out a form for insurance. We already had the facility keep them in the med cart but that didn't keep him from losing them during the day. Fairly certain one probably ended up in laundry and they just didn't tell me. He's down to one, which is still being held in the med cart, but I am not replacing them. It's not to be mean. I no longer ask them to even try to put the one hearing aid he has left in. His glasses were lost right away when he moved in. We were able to take him for his eye checkup the first year, but now he won't respond to cues or cooperate with me so I cannot take him out alone. The activity director has observed no changes in his participation and comprehension without them. However, he's pretty late stage. I hate it, but just couldn't keep buying hearing aids for someone who doesn't know what's going on or where he is. I feel terrible, but this is life and reality unless money is no object.

Dad, who lives with us, has been a real pill about his hearing aids. He doesn't like them. He refuses to wear them. When he did wear them, he fiddled with them until they stopped working, then he said "Why wear them? They don't work anyway." Not anymore, they don't! He still thinks he needs to carry them around, and he puts them in strange places and then can't find them. They end up in his pants pockets in the laundry all the time. We rescue them. They end up in drawers, under the bed, in his bedding, in the bathroom, between sofa cushions. We finally lost track of them, gave up, and just let him be deaf. He'd fiddled them into worthless pieces of plastic anyway. Getting them fixed (if possible) involves taking a day off of work to drive him with them to the VA center an hour away. He's eligible for new ones next year, but really, is it worth it? :(

CCRhea: It is quite common in these places for items to go missing. Since your loved one has Alzheimer's, she is not expected to nor can she keep track of her hearing aide, eyeglasses or clothing. No doubt the staff is actually UNDERSTAFFED so their ability to keep track of patients' possessions is severely impaired. So unfortunately as you can't install a video camera in the room that she is in (and it wouldn't be monitored anyway), you are stuck with the alternative, which is "does she really miss the aide and eyeglasses?"

Many NHs/ALs not liable for lost eyeglasses, dentures, etc.

I have the same issues that you do with my mom in the Dementia unit of her facility. She has lost bridgework, glasses, clothing, and at one point a chair of her's was removed for cleaning and never returned. My questions and requests for the return of her things seems to fall on deaf ears. She also leaves things and takes things from other people's rooms. And, she throws things away. Her clothing is all labeled with black permanent marker. I have decided that as long as she's dressed, whether they're her clothes or not, I don't fuss. She doesn't care. I buy clothing from thrift stores and don't spend a lot. She has macular degeneration and can't see well even with glasses, so I haven't replaced the ones she lost or threw away a year ago. It's a no-win situation, and as long as my mother is well-taken care of and supervised, which she is, I don't stress about it.

Listening to others here in senior living I hear many problems caring for HA for spouses with dementia - knowing when it is time to change batteries or if problem is wax in the ear, hard to find when misplaced, often need to be repaired.

Not sure how useful this will be. I have hearing issues and do not want to pay thousands for HA. Bought a personal amplifier from Amazon for $60 and it works great. It hangs over my good ear and a part inserts into the canal. There is an on-off switch and volume control. Uses larger batteries which are easy to change. Easy to find as it is larger than many in ear aids. Smallest ear bug was a bit large for my ear so I trimmed it with scissors.
Would such an amplifier could be a good backup or even replacement for a HA?

I agree about staff taking stealing.
I set up trap and watched Charge nurse seal my phone then ran out thre door with it.
where he is they say they are not responsible for personal belongings. Since he has physical limitations and they dont change his clothes or bathe him. I went in friday and bathed him cut the matts out of his hair and almost 1/4 inch of yellow scalp skin scraped off through his hair. Largo Medical Health and Rehab. dementia care is a joke. They.eander around lost in and out rooms sex in rooms. stiole his wheelchair

bluecube: Digital aides alert you when the battery is dead.

CCRhea: Please come back on here.

I work as a nurse on a dementia unit. We have people with hearing aids They are put on in the am and removed at night.
They are both attached by string to a clip and fastened to their clothing! When pulled out they fall harmlessly to the back and are held by the sting. Ask your hearing aid consultant to do this for you. The resident who continue to pull them off and lose them we only put them on when family comes. And they can monitor the use so as not to lose them. GLASSES need the name on them. Also can be done by the eye glass shop. None of these are 100 percent. It is unreasonable for staff to be totally accountable when people have dementia. Also check clothing at night before laundry and garbage - these things get wrapped in tissue. Teeth are another expensive item that need a name on them. Staff must work with families.

Beckytodd1: Who is having sex in the rooms? Good grief!

My Mother-in-law has dementia and we had a rough time with glasses,
We took her to get her eyes checked and got new glasses, and within one day
she had ran over them with her wheel chair. She would take them off and place them in her lap, and they would fall off. She would also sit on them and break them. We replaced them and got them fixed a few times, and then gave up and she wore her old ones. She wanted the hear aid really bad, but then did not want to mess with it. She kept pulling it out when she touched her hair, or combed it.

First, all staff in nursing facilities do not steal and, yes, it happens. I am not denying that. But, let us try to give positive, possible solutions. (1) Eyeglasses-Buy the lanyards and attach them to the glasses. Add safety clips to each side of the lanyards and ask for them to be attached to her blouse or top. This can be noted in her daily shift chart so the staff can be reminded. The hearing aids, I do not know how you can remedy that. Ask the Council On Aging, churches, organizations, relatives and friends to do a letter writing campaign to the hearing aid companies and eye glass companies asking for an inexpensive remedy for some type of permanent attachments to the items. Another idea is for the companies to make some type of beeping sound when removed that can be turned off when located or put away. I have found that contacting the local media and asking for assistance with a concern really gives a strong support. Asking for a meeting with the staff and telling them the cost of replacing these items and how you appreciate their help, might cause them to be more alert to the situation. I pray that the problem will be resolved. I will write letters too.

My dad was in a nursing home and he was constantly wearing other peoples clothes and his items kept coming up missing. But it was not him considering that he was in a wheel chair and could not dress himself and his things was also marked.Don't always blame your mother, consider the staff.

I used to refer to my mother's missing glasses being in the "Black Hole for Glasses". To this day, I still don't understand why there was an issue at all, and why the staff wan't more on top of the problem. The trash can was emptied daily. Can someone explain why that wasn't checked before it was emptied? (I'm sincerely not being sarcastic). When clothes went to the laundry, wouldn't a pair of glasses have been obvious? If another resident took them, would that not have been obvious if that other resident was wearing them, or had put them in their dresser? If this is a memory care unit, why were residents allowed in another resident's room? I totally get it that the staff is busy, and sincerely appreciated ALL that they did for my mother, but again the residents are in memory care for a reason.

lama lover residents. and one lady resident is determined to tame my spouces roommate who hsuffered stroke and has dementia thinks she is his wife what she tells him. At firsg I thought she was you know when she said she was going to take him away from his wife. well he protests when his wife comes insists co resident is his wife now. Her bras and panties are in his drawer when I returned socks witth his name on them
er and pink slippers under his bed. And his wife is upset. One nurse stooed her from feely smooching in diningroom. but this nurse works in another unit usually. It seems most everytime there is someone filling in. Doesnt do much for continuity of care. my spouce I bought 14pair lounge bottoms he cant really dress himself and little use of fine motor and shoulder due to broken bones. see he is helping neighbor like I told him. And he Actually appologized when he ranoff when I canme to bate him and shave and shampoo. What gets me besides the shock when aid yelled he had his thing in her mouth and yelling at tjem saying there nasty. I think my mouth dropped open. Ive srrn a lot but this place takes the cake. Was uopset when came in and saw rough treatment going and getting ehrrlchair creeping away and roughly spinning it around and shoving pt shoulder. pinching or slapping dementia pt back. These I know. I advocated for quite a few to be off st. Sometimes dont know if this is better.