My husband doesn't want me to leave him, he complains when I even go out. My husband wants me to be at home with him all the time. He says we are married and should be together. He is 87 in good physical health. I have stopped him from driving about a year ago when he was lost for 36 hours, and found by the Sheriff's Dept in another state. He doesn't wander, he is almost a recluse, won't go anywhere, haven't been to a restaurant with him in over 3 years and only goes to the Doctors, with great persuasion. He has no concept of time, thinks I'm gone all day when I go to the grocery store for an hour.
He can be alone for about two hours, sleeps a lot, but after that he starts to get up-set with me leaving him. I can see a time in the future when he wont be able to be left alone. He seems so attached to me, I can't imagine him accepting someone coming in and being with him.
How can I introduce a helper?
I try to ignore his remarks when I come home, he usually gets over it in half an hour. I pass on going out to lunch with my girlfriends, because I just don't want to face the hassle when I get home. I play tennis 3 mornings at week, and I am holding firm on not giving that up. I need the exercise and the mental relief. It is so strange, he is so happy when I leave, says take your time, but when I come back I don't know who I will find. Sometimes he says I should go away and stay.
You need a break. When the aid comes in I go out. Even if I just sit in the car...so mom understands that "I want the aid to focus all of her energies on her" and not be distracted by me...A break is a break!