My 87 year old mom just diagnosed with dementia and living on her own. Mom adamant still able to live on own, family and doctor would like to see her in more controlled environment.

I’ve found an assisted living that could be a good fit for her but having trouble how bring up to her. She thinks she’s fine and everyone else has a problem especially the doctor.

Any suggestions how to broach subject without increasing her paranoia that everyone is against her?

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Thanks all who have reached out to me on my concern. My mom is having cognitive issues and hallucinations thinking magazine images are real. She also becomes confused in new settings how to maneuver from point A to point B.
The dementia diagnosis was from geriatric doctor we were referred to.
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Reply to Kitty19

Look for a continuum of care facility. She would start with independent living. That way when she needs assisted or memory care or nursing home there will only be a move to another area of the facility. When she needs more care she will be given priority as a resident already.
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Reply to gladimhere

Has her doctor had this conversation with her? Was this a specialist who came to these conclusions after testing, or after a brief conversation?

Assisted Living may be too much help and not the right type of help, for now.

What does mom need help with? Can you make an analysis of that? She may need an Independent Living environment, basically an apartment with meals and housekeeping and not AL, yet.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn

Basically you are going to have to wait for an event where she will need the ER. Once there you need to tell them that she lives alone and her living condition is unsafe. They will not release her and will find her a place.
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Reply to lkdrymom

She's not paranoid. Everyone is against her.

She thinks she's fine carrying on at home, alone. Everyone else thinks she would be safer and do better in a facility.

You're not going to change her mind all at once. So, what about chipping away at it and getting her to agree to one or two points to start with.

For example: the facility you think might suit her. It's nice? It offers activities that would interest her? There are people there she'd get on with? The food is appetising and well-presented? What about taking her just to have lunch there, introducing her to the staff, and letting her have a good look at it. If you can get her to agree that it is a nice place, that's one chip. Quite a big chip, actually - because moving *to* somewhere nice is a whole different thought process from having to leave your home behind.

Then, what are the problems you've observed that she's having? And how was the dementia diagnosis reached?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Countrymouse

Ask her doctor to explain it to her. Best of luck to you. Hugs!
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

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