How to get Mom to wipe properly after a poo?

It's tricky to handle, isn't it? Furthermore, given the memory loss it is going to get even more difficult to handle. You have some good suggestions here which might work or not work. You'll have to try them and see. My experience with my wife eight years into Alzheimer's and confined to bed is that she doesn't want to cause any trouble and doesn't like being "in a mess." I don't use the word "incontinence", but I try to reassure her that she is not doing anything wrong and I simply want her to be "clean and comfortable."

The calmer you are, the calmer the incontinent person will be. The more anxious you are, the more anxious they will be. Everyone is different, but my experience is that a check during the day every four hours or so works well (less time is usually a waste of your time, because nothing happens). However, check out what times work best. If you go to "Books" and "incontinence" on www.amazon.com you will find some books with advice there. They will certainly recommend that you keep a daily chart about what happens when, because then in about two weeks time you will have a pretty good picture of when to be proactive. I also find now, at this late stage, that waking her up in the middle of the night (after midnight, when I have woken up briefly already) works well, and means that in the morning things are much easier to sort out.

All the best and prayers.

This is a terrible problem but it must be solved - no matter how tough it is to do that. I see only the following options. You must be extremely firm and tell her she cannot leave the toilet without wiping herself clean - it is unacceptable and cannot be allowed. That means YOU may have to be with her each time she uses the bathroom. I understand she is ashamed and embarrassed - I would be too but tell her she took care of you as her baby - now it is your turn to care for her. And buy those little "sheets" that are wet and which you can use to wipe yourself clean. If all fails (and I don't know about bidets and trash cans, etc.), you may have to place her somewhere out of your home.

Since I am mostly in the bathroom with my 93 year old mother, if I think she hasn't completely cleaned herself I just say, " Mom, I think you need a wet wipe" and she allows me to do it for her. There are things to be done these days that I never would have imagined 5 years ago !

wet wipes are the ticket. UTI issues or dignity issues? Tell ma you need to do a check, use a wipe and avoid the UTI issues. You wipe her just to make sure. UTI's are no fun

There are adult wipes you can buy that are larger than the diaper wipes that might help. I wouldn't flush any wipe though. Sometimes folks get too fatigued to wipe properly as they age or they lose the mobility to reach the area to do the job.