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How many of you caregivers have been falsely accused of something like elder abuse by an aging parent or a family member with an ulterior motive? How many had to seek out an attorney? I am all for protecting the vulnerable be they elderly or disabled. But what happened to our rights?

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I was investigated by APS and the police more than once due to a bunch of WILD accusations made by my grandfather. All of this was triggered by the fact that he had to go into an ALF as I was unable to meet his needs at home after 5 years of decline. He blames me for EVERYTHING and is still making up lies even after I have been cleared and all the cases are closed. APS worker actually told me that they are required to investigate every case regardless of how petty. He told me that he could see that I have been nothing but accomodating and that I care for my grandpa and that he was sorry he had to put me though this AGAIN. Since the beginning of all this my grandfather has been moved from ALF to MC as he was very disruptive and made threats against himself, staff and other residents. I thought once he was in care my life would be mine again but I was so wrong. So far so good with this new locked up facility. Maybe he needed to be there all along.
I honestly did not keep all the documents I should have besides the basics, but I was up front and open with the investigations and things have continued to work out the way they should. I can say that this site has made me much more aware of the ACTUAL responsibilities of a POA that I was not before coming here.
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Reply to laura9574
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I've seen senior financial abuse by greedy relatives. I have personally experienced being accused of "stealing" money from the LO I was caregiving.
All are common behaviors that are very unpleasant.

This is the unfortunate part of dealing with dementia and our loved ones.
After becoming a DPOA, I keep detailed records of all expenditures, bills, and where all the person's money is invested, in a tabbed binder. Just like before I retired and handled millions in company money as my job.

The extra work involved protects us BOTH.
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Reply to Dawn88
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Rights are one thing, but a solid RECORD of, for instance, expenditures and money into and out of accounts is another thing, and one much more solid.

If you are responsible for caring for an elder, a good diary, one with no tear outs (so a composition book hand written in ink with no erasures) is admissible in almost all courts.
If an elder calls with any erroneous reports it is good for you to welcome any examining entity (Sheriff, police, APS) and be very open and welcoming. Provide access to the elder's MD for questions as regards mentation and etc.

You give us little to go on here, so we can do little to help other than wishing you best of luck.
As to your question, we often see these situations on this Forum, so hopefully stick around a while and read. Paranoia and confusion and delusion is part of dementia. All caregivers can sympathize, and have their own experiences.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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