Follow
Share

Mom is 90, early-to-mid stage, with hyperlipidemia, hypertension, diabetes type 2 and Graves disease. I know life expectancy depends on so many factors, and the progress of the dementia varies from person to person. Just trying to wrap my head around what to expect and how soon.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
My grandma was diagnosed with dementia and has congestive heart failure, diabetes and osteroarithis and walks with a walker. She was diagnosed with dementia over 20 years ago and has suffered through many broken bones. Everytime she breaks something or deals with a relapse of the congestive heart failure, we are told to expect the worse and every time she has come through it with strides. She definitely still has dementia. It's pretty severe at this point. She doesn't recognize her surroundings or people by name. She knows a friendly face and looks for me a lot knowing I'm her 'people' as she calls me but honestly I have come to realize, odds or no odds, there is no way of knowing when someone will die or live. I've been told by a lot of people that me as a granddaughter caring for my grandma at the age of 38 whereas she's 87, that she will be outliving me, That proves there is no time line. Sorry.

My suggestion as was said before, enjoy the time you have. Make memories anytime you can. Never say no. Anything you said no to before, make a point to do it. Enjoy the stories and memories while they are still there. Make a point to take pictures to remember memories as they are loved by my grandma so will probably be loved by your mom. Take time to spend with her when you can. Make random phone calls if you are far away, anything you can do to spend time with her. Hopefully things progess slow but only time will tell.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You're very welcome, AmberA.

My mother was only 76 and had been in a nursing home for a year when she suddenly collapsed and died - congestive heart failure was the main cause of death. She had actually been doing relatively well - getting out and enjoying activities right up to the day before she died - and enjoyed her new roommate quite a bit. But we just never know. It was a shock to us, because we thought we had at least another year...maybe two or three years....but that wasn't in the master plan for her, apparently. It was very traumatic for us, especially with how it happened - but we have to be thankful that she didn't have a stroke or something similar happen and linger in a life she could no longer enjoy. She would have hated that. I prefer to think she went quickly and without pain or knowledge that she was going. It seems that's just how quick it was. Sitting up on the side of her bed one minute, and gone the next.

As I mentioned...just enjoy your mom now. She will value that far more than anything else. And if she has memories and stories that you've heard a hundred times, listen to them just once more. And write them down - later, you will be very glad you did.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you all for your responses. All of Mom's health issues have been addressed or are being managed by her MDs. Did I mention she also has osteoarthritis and walks with a cane? Despite all her problems she is doing remarkably well. Her mental health is what concerns me the most. Someone in this forum recommended a geriatric psychiatrist and I mean to follow through on that. SusanA43, your suggestion to prepare for sudden death is spot on. Despite appearances, Mom is quite old and could be taken from us at any time. Thanks for that reminder.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Age 90 is a long life. Most people are lucky if they live past 70. She is a survivor. Mixed Dementia. I would recommend that you find a local Alzheimer's association place that has free meetings, and typically includes other people who have parents or family members that have all types of dementia. You will get a chance to tell your story and other people going through this, including the social workers that typically hold these meetings are helpful in preparing you for realities. Others have had this occur to their family even with people who are in their 60s, 70s and older. But I am finding this is a good site that saves time also, but telling your story to people in the same room with same problem will benefit you educationally. Hyperlipidemia. Don't worry about that. It's high cholesterol, even diagnosed with people in their 30s or 40s. Hypertension? Yea, that is treatable in a lot of ways. Diabetes? Yea, only a physician has those answers. Graves disease? Yep, happens to women frequently even in their 40s and 50s, and they perform surgery to reduce that disease. Focus on the dementia. Seek social support, in person, and that will help a lot.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Susan is right. There is no way to predict this with any certainty.

How well are the conditions being managed? Having untreated hypertension has a very different outcome than blood pressure that is kept in check. Same with diabetes. Her doctors may be able to give you some longevity prognosis, but it would be only a general range.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

There's no clear cut answer to this, unfortunately. Your mom sounds like she has a very complicated medical situation, and the dementia is only a small part of it.

However, given her age and medical conditions you've listed, I'd definitely say you need to make sure you are prepared for the fact that something could happen very suddenly and she could be gone without warning. Not trying to be harsh or morbid here, but your mom has advanced age and medical factors at play here.

I wish we could give you a more definitive answer, but no one will be able to do that - not even her doctors. Just enjoy the time you still have with her, while you can.  Spend time with her, talk to her, read to her if she likes that, show her photos of family - that kind of thing.  That's the one thing that you won't regret - that you gave her your time when it meant the most.  
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter