Follow
Share

My father's lady friend had a massive stroke, can't swallow, left side paralyzed. She had a nasal feeding tube that was to be removed today and is only going to have IV for comfort. She is not a large woman. She had the stroke a week ago (Christmas Eve). She was moving to hospice today sometime. I'm praying she can't live much longer like this.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Krissy7 You may want to read this AC article, which covered feeding tubes:
5 Treatments Older Adults May Not Need

At the meeting I would ask
What the chances of mother recovering to anything approaching a normal life? Will she ever be able to swallow?
Would this be an appropriate time to call in hospice?
If the tube is moved and she tries to take it out, will she be restrained?
What benefits will the moved tube provide?
What are the risks of having the tube in her stomach?

And a big question to talk about among family is "What would mother want?" If she has a "living will" (healthcare directive) does that cover this situation?

I am so sorry you are dealing with this heart-breaking problem. Hugs to all your family.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

my mum had a severe stroke 3 months ago and is still in hospital . She cannot swallow and is being fed through a nasal tube.
Doctors want to move the tube to the stomach so she can be moved from hospital into a home. She mostly sleeps and seems very weak, but sometimes she says the odd word. We have concerns with them moving the tube, as she has been on antibiotics constantly for infections ..... and only had the odd day without. Currently she has low potassium ...and has a potassium bag. We feel she is too weak for the feed to be moved but the hospital cannot shift her out while she has a nasal tube. We are going in for a meeting on Friday with all doctors ...Any suggestions ...should we let them move the feed?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Your father's partner is at peace. Try to get him to hang onto that. Her only way forward was to step into the next life. You are a wonderful and loving daughter to have been at his side. You did all the right things. Blessings as you go forward with your Dad he make need much more care now he is alone.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I'm so sorry that your father has lost his companion. But I'm glad that she didn't suffer any more, and I'm glad that your father has such good support from you. Best wishes x
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you for all the replies. She died Saturday night. While I know my dad is still grieving, I think a big part of him is also relieved. I just need to keep an eye on him now for depression--make sure it doesn't get worse.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I expect the IV has been left so they have access for medications. The dose of Heparin is day to day because they have to test the blood daily to determine the dose. I would expect that now she is on hospice that will be discontinued. There will probably be very little fluid given via the IV just enough to keep it open. Is your father her POA or does she have relatives. The POA can give permission for you to speak to the Dr Hospice may actually remove the IV now she is in their care and just keep her mouth moist for comfort. Contrary to what many people think dehydration is not uncomfortable and is thought to release endorphins which provide comfort. She can still be given liquid pain medication in the form of morphine which can be dripped slowly into the mouth where it is readily absorbed. Medications can also be given rectally. I would expect her to pass peacefully within the week. Blessings to you and your father
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Hospice is real good at keeping people comfortable. The IV fluids could prolong her life by weeks though.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Hospice is wonderful. They provided some sort of patch 'cocktail' that guarded against dehydration and when my sweet daddy no longer could drink/eat. No tubes..just lots of love, hugs, tears and big band music playing 24/7. He passed within a day or so in my arms. So blessed there were no medical peripherals to get in the way.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Is your father's lady friend able to give her doctors permission to speak to you? If this would help your father, it might be worth asking: they can tell you anything as long as they have her consent to that.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My understanding is the blood thinners are a day to day decision. She has/had an IV for heparin yesterday. We weren't able to get to hospital today due the to weather here in NYC area, but dad spoke with the nurse and she was moved to hospice. The IV fluid was on a different IV from the blood thinner. I can only get the info from my dad since I'm not a relative of hers.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I understand, and I agree with you that if there's any mercy she will reach the end very soon. Perhaps it will help not to count the days, just let the time pass.

I expect the IV will be kept under review, and withdrawn when appropriate. It occurs to me that, with the stroke's happening only a week ago, it's possible the IV is mainly needed to administer anti-clotting drugs to prevent another? And perhaps for pain relief - but I'm only guessing. You should feel free to ask about it - no one will think badly of you for wanting to understand the care plan, and you need to in order to help your father. I hope this passes quickly for all of you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes, I live with my dad. No on the PEG. It was considered, but was decided against. She has only had the nasal tube for the past week, but that was supposed to be removed today (must have been done after we left late this afternoon). From what I've been reading on-line, no fluids or food a person can last up to 2 weeks. My concern with this is the IV--even though it's to keep her comfortable, could it prolong it by much longer? She sleeps most of the day, has a lot of mucous, although nurse wasn't able to suction much out this afternoon, head hurts (from coughing and from swelling of brain I think). Lost my mom 24 years ago to breast cancer and now he has to go through this. I'm just praying she goes sooner rather than later. Thanks for the replies.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

There was a saying 30 days without food, 3 days without water and 3 minutes without air. The fluids could prolong things a bit - but not a great length of time. Hospice will keep her comfortable. My heart goes out to your dad. He will miss his friend. It is so hard to face loss and there is so much loss with aging.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

At least with her on hospice her life will not be artificially prolonged.

My heart goes out to you, your father, and his friend.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If she's being moved to hospice care and her doctors are not considering PEG feeding, then it sounds as if your prayers are likely to be answered. I'm sorry for her suffering. Are you able to support your father through this?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.