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I know the answer to this is that it varies based on the person, but I guess I am looking for some positive stories about setting in, because all I can remember reading about are stories talking about their loved one wanting to leave. We moved my dad in with us recently, and we knew it was going to be a rough transition, but I am wondering if it will get a bit better with time or if he is always going to see this as a foreign environment. We rented a truck and brought as many of his familiar things with us as we could and even set the room up in the exact same configuration, so I feel like we did everything we could. But he started getting really delusional a few days in, and it seems to be getting steadily worse. It may just be a coincidence, but a lot of it is centers around stories of his wife going to jail (which never happened), how he got here (sometimes he says walking, sometimes he talks about a friend who brought him and is now dead), people trying to come and kill him and many other stories. He rattles the door when he finds it locked and fixates on that. I had been living with him in his home for over a year before this and had locks installed there as well, so that isn't new. And he does this all hours. We are going to talk to a doctor about meds, but I am wondering if people have seen this kind of thing get better over time.

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Thanks sunnygirl. I didn't go into what we have already tried, because I didn't want my post to get too long, but he does have some trazadone, which they gave us because we basically were not getting any sleep. It does help him sleep a bit, but the next day he is even worse. Delusional, refusing to eat, verbally combative. This morning was the worst so far. Wouldn't even take coffee from me. I called the neuro, and they want to throw an antipsychotic at him! I read up on those, and they can be really dangerous! I don't think he is at that point yet. Had the nurse ask about other possible options and still waiting to hear. Glad to know of at least one story where settling in happened though.
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As you acknowledge, it does vary. I'll share what I have seen. I would try what you can to address his issues and hope they can be treated, but you never know.

My loved one was very resistant to go to assisted living, but she agreed. Her dementia was so that the doctor said she could no longer live alone. There was no short term memory. She adjusted pretty well, though. She would say they were good to her at the AL, but still would ask when she was going home. This lasted for a couple of months. As she progressed in her illness, she went on Cymbalta to address her anxiety and pain. (She also has arthritis and fractures.) This medication helped her a lot! I would explore medication for your father.

When I moved her to the Secure Memory Care facility, she was as content as could be.(She was taking the Cymbalta.) I stayed positive and she actually was on board with the move. It was to the county she was born in. We rolled her wheelchair into her room and her roommate gave her a friendly greeting and told me she was going to look after her. They made fast friends and still are very close a year later. They sat together watching tv as I left. She didn't seem to mind. Just waived goodbye. She has never had a minute of trouble there.

The other week we were visiting another resident down the hall from her room and she commented on how lovely that room was. She said she loved it and that she would like to move in. She said she could pay them a monthly fee for her stay. (She had forgotten she has a room right down the hall.)

I know of a woman with AD who was in Assisted Living then nursing home for over 10 years. She asked everyday when she was going home. They would just tell her that it would be soon. I don't think she ever really settled in.

I've heard that relocating a dementia patient can cause a change in mental status, but I don't think it always happens. I think I would have your dad checked out by his doctor to see if it's something else and if not, some medication could help with his anxiety.
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