You don't give us much to go on here, like traveling by car, plane or something else, so I will just say that if traveling with this person is so difficult, why don't you just keep them at home? Do they really have to travel?
My late husband for the last 4+ years of his life had to use his transfer chair if I took him anywhere, as he was a fall risk and couldn't walk very far at that time. Thankfully at that time the only places I had to take him was the doctors office, so I was able to help him in and out of the car, and push him in his transport chair, and then again get him in the house. And that could be a lot. I would never have offered to take him anywhere else, and thankfully he never wanted to go anywhere else, so it all worked out.
My family knew that he didn't travel well, so if they wanted to see him or me, they knew that they had to come to our house.
So perhaps it's just time to have family come to your loved one so you don't have to worry about getting them anywhere except where they absolutely HAVE to go.
Helpful Answer (12)
Reply to funkygrandma59

My step-father was in a wheel chair, he was around 200#'s, getting him in and out of a vehicle was beyond my ability to lift.

My brother had to do it, until he said I cannot do this anymore as my step-father actually collapsed to the ground several times and my brother could not pickup the dead weight.

So that ended that, a handicapped van hired to tote him around.

There is no way that I would have tried to take him with me on vacation, for more reasons than one, whether it be by car, boat or airplane.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to MeDolly

I traveled by plane with my mom to Las Vegas and Hawaii, the big island alone. We always took our full sized wheelchair, from leaving the house, ask for a wheelchair van , to the gate and then to the airplane seat. The airline will let you stay in your own wheelchair. Ask the airline for a skycap and they will wheel you to your gate. I pack one large suitcase and use one large tote bag as our carry on, which I place on back of wheelchair so I don’t have to carry it. You are first on plane and also through security, mom stayed in her wheelchair and they just patted her down, she couldn’t stand up. Of course you are last off plane , She used a walker , I found a traveling one , placed it in suitcase, in Hawaii. In Vegas I rented a rolling walker from a local medical supply and they delivered right to my hotel room. We had a layover in California of 3 hours and if it’s not your wheelchair, the skycap just leaves you to one place, ie your connecting gate, but with 3 hours to kill, best to bring your own wheelchair, you can go to restroom, eat something and shop , then go to connecting gate. At your destination look around for all handicap accessible ramps, it’s the law, and just shop , eat tour, just keep large tote bag on handlebars for souvenirs. Get a cushion for comfort for wheelchair. I have traveled multiple times with mom and when she could take a few steps, but still using wheelchair we went on a helicopter in Kauai. Yes it’s a little difficult, sometimes people stare, but she and I always had a blast traveling. Oh she was 5’ 2” and 140 pounds so I could move her around. Don’t be afraid, wasn’t easy the first time, mom wore a depends and size large so it was roomy and tsa agent said she could be hiding a book in there, I was to take her back to bathroom and rearrange the depends, how humiliating and I wasn’t allowed to do it, mom wasn’t agile enough to stand and rearrange her underwear, so I just reached down repositioned it for her, because it was ridiculous. Then we were kinda stuck waiting for another agent. Whatever, don’t let people try to ruin your vacation. Btw there are beaches with wheelchairs that roll onto the sand.
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Reply to Rusangum

My husband has Parkinson’s as well and although not in wheelchair has mobility issues. Uses walker.
We traveled (until 3 years ago extensively), lets just say we went to places most people would hesitate. Well over 40 trips in less than 20 years together.
All changed but we continue to travel.
Mostly from A to B.
Limiting flying to non stop if possible.
We spend winters in Mexico in the same condo complex so we know many people, some are good friends.
It is important as per neurologist and drs to maintain normalcy for PD. Live life to the best of your ability as his dr says, enjoy it, sun and warm and constant companion of different people has amazing results.
My husband was always excellent traveller and remains one.
We made some changes and adjustments.
We splurge on best seats.
Closer to bathroom, transfer belt for safety.
As per IATA every disabled passenger has to be provided with help. This applies to over 100 airlines. Inform your airline and request assistance if you are planning to travel by plane.
We get to airport and destination and always had somebody waiting with wheelchair, take us throughout crew gate, few minutes, we never ever waited. In fact, this part is easier than before, no more lines!
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to Evamar
Llamalover47 Dec 29, 2023
Evamar: You and your dh are amazing!
I give Evamar a lot of credit but age has a lot to do with this. Me at 74 would not even consider traveling with my almost 77 year old husband if he was wheelchair bound. He weights 70lbs more than I do and is 9 in taller. No way would I be able to help him if he was not able to do most of the work. I am not a good traveler anyway that I would even consider it. I would be setting him up with the senior bus to get him to appts. I am not a strong person and suffer from arthritis in my lower back.
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Reply to JoAnn29
Evamar Dec 24, 2023
Thank you.
It is true, our desire to travel makes it easier to overcome some obstacles. There are always some for everybody!
It is very difficult to travel with a wheelchair person. My wife is a total care patient and uses a power chair which I have to operate as she can no longer use her arms and legs.

the last flight we took we caused a delay of the flight due to waiting for them to get my wife on the plan and situated in her seat. The other passengers weren’t pleased. When we arrived at our destination there was a significant delay in deplaning. Fortunately her manual chair and all of our luggage arrived in good condition. We had a lot of luggage needed primarily for her care.

that was our last flight. I now drive our handicap van for any trips which still requires a lot of effort and patience. My wife rides secured in her chair which I have anchored in the van behind my seat. I load and secure her then pack our luggage around her. I break the trip up with several stops along our route for overnight stops. When we arrive at our stops, I register for our room then find parking near our nearest entry door. Finding handicap parking where I can let out the ramp for her to exit is often difficult and I frequently must park out away from the facility in order to accommodate the ramp. I then remove all of our luggage, get her chair (with her in it) out of the van. I then need to put everything back into the van and lock it. I then maneuver her van into the hotel and our room and get her settled. After that I return to the van to begin unloading luggage and taking it to our room.

After accomplished the unloading I turn my attention to dinner. My wife is unable to feed herself so I usually get carry out and bring it back to the room. Now I turn my attention to preparing her for bed. She sleeps well but I am lucky to get 3 - 4 hours rest.

the next morning I get her up, dressed and in her chair. I then repack items we have removed from our luggage and turn my attention to breakfast which I bring back to the room or we do a fast food stop after leaving our hotel.

the process is reversed from when we arrived at the hotel. I get my wife secured in her chair and latched into place in our van. After that I make trips back and forth to our room to carry luggage down and load into the van. As you can imagine this all takes time and can be exacerbated by weather issues.

Bottom line our trips are fewer now. It is just to difficult to travel with my wife. When we do it takes a lot of patience and it extends the time (days) to our journey. We have gone to a few family functions; college graduations and weddings and the activities required for those functions are equally grueling in addition to the travel.

I just completed a trip to Chicago from Florida. I admitted my wife to a nursing home. It was one having an excellent reputation for skilled nursing and memory care. Our Dr provided a certification that my wife needed assustance with nutrition and fluids. I prepared two page document to provide exactly what needed to be done and spent 25 minutes going thru the requirements with the physician who managed the section my wife was placed. He acknowledged her needs and indicated she will be taken care of. She was scheduled for 9 days. I returned on the 8th day and when I got to her room I noted that they had done a blood test. I sought out the Dr and he told me her sodium and white blood count was high and likely due to dehydration. I found she had also lost 4 pounds. Obviously she did not receive adequate nutrition or fluids. She was given two days of fluids intravenously. I did have some fellowship with tha administrator and head nurse and they admitted they failed her. I will travel with my wife on my next journey.

As I noted travel can be extremely difficult and very exhausting. The best you can do is carefully plan the journey and bring along a lot of patience.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Roy1234
gwolfdog Jan 16, 2024
You're my Hero. Refreshing Post on this Board. I'm 76 in a WC and don't travel much since my wife passed away. Nursing Home staffing is often inadequate and she's very lucky too have you. Wish the others on this Board who suffer from our age would have a little more tolerance. Thanks
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I think, DoingMyBest, that you will not find a whole lot of information other than the good clues you have been given so far on this thread for one good reason, and that is that few would attempt travel at this point for your mother. For MANY reasons.

Not only is it very prohibitive and difficult for YOU (if planes are involved I find that cancellations are so common that I now just hate it; last trip to Washington State from SF I had to stay wandering in airport for 8 hours what with cancellations), but it is beyond being worth it for your mom at this stage in her dementia. I am afraid I have to parrot the advice of those here who think it is by far the best solution to not even attempt this anymore. That time is over.

In all truth air travel of any kind is very dangerous to the elderly who cannot get up out of their seats to get circulation going. Clots and heart attacks love these conditions. And that possible side effect of travel is but the tip of the iceberg.

Your intentions are lovely; I just think they are not terribly realistic.
I wish you the very best. I speak as someone who still attempts one important trip every year at 81, but also as someone who will be quite "relieved" if a little sad, when travel is "over".
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to AlvaDeer
BurntCaregiver Dec 31, 2023

Then there's the mention of everyone else on the flight. Recently, a passenger was incontinent and crapped in the aisle. The plane had to be grounded because the flight crew were not equipped to handle the clean up. Nor should they ever have to be.

All the passengers had to exit the plane and take different flights.

There comes a time when air travel or any really just can't be a thing anymore or some people.
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Get a power wheelchair that he can navigate on cruises. Ask for wheelchair assistant at airports. Get wheelchair accessible accommodations on board ships and at hotels. Ask for walk in showers with shower chairs. Choose national parks with accessible trails. Rent or buy a vehicle with a wheelchair ramp. On tours in goreign countries, rent a guide with an accessible vehicle. Avoid manual wheechairs you have to push, fold, and lift into a trunk.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JeaneRose

Burnt, OMG! Its probably considered hazardous waste and has to be cleaned up a certain way. I have had thoughts about being on a plane, sitting so close to each other your almost in the persons lap. The seats are so close together you just about have leg room. And then have someone close by have an accident...I can't stand smells.

If a person is not capable of getting to a bathroom on a plane on their own, they should not be flying. Only one person can fit in them anyway.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29

I thought there was some kind of "fast check" that you can get for domestic flights so no need to be searched?

Your Mom has Dementia. Why do you want to put her thru this if its so upsetting for her. It probably brings on anxiety which is not good for her. When we took Mom out with us, she was good for maybe an hour then she was ready for home. Church was her favorite thing but the people coming over and hugging her and the noise was just too overwhelming. Dementia likes familiarity. Peace and quiet. I would not take Mom out where she could not be brought back to her comfort zone within minutes. Once my Mom was placed in AL and later LTC, I never took her out.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29

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