My father passed recently. For those who have read my past posts, you know that there was significant family drama over medical choices I had to make as POA. The silver lining in all of this (or so I thought) was when my mother (parents divorced) strongly disagreed with one of my decisions about Dad and “fired” me as her POA and appointed my sibling. After many years of caregiving, I was relieved! This past weekend my siblings and I made an unannounced visit to our mother and found her kitchen hadn’t been cleaned in at least a month (food peelings, gnats, etc.) My siblings cleaned up her kitchen and had a good visit. As we were leaving, one of my siblings jumped me saying I needed to visit more often and I needed to check to see that her house was clean. I didn’t respond. Obviously I want my mother to have the care she needs but I don’t think I need to be the one providing that care. One of the mistakes I feel we made with Dad was we cleaned and managed so much he couldn’t see he needed help because everything was getting done. I don’t want to repeat the pattern. Dad was stubborn, but Mom is impossible! Also, the sibling that was actually appointed as caregiver lives just as close to her as I do. On top of caregiving, I have spent the last year teaching......in a pandemic. I’m physically and mentally exhausted. So right now I’m feeling , I need a well deserved break, it’s not my problem, but she is my mother. So it’s either neglect myself or feel the guilt. Thoughts?