Hearing loss but won’t admit it, what can I do?

Guess what? Sometimes they spend thousands to get hearing aids and don’t wear them like my mom. Oh, if your mom has excess ear wax they need to be cleaned regularly (weekly) or they can’t hear due to the wax.

Headphones work for not having a blaring television.

I even tried writing signs for her to read. She got upset. Oh well...

I’m not heartless but it was exhausting raising my voice all the time and then I had to hear her say that I sounded angry.

I did research at one time on voice amplifiers. Any public speakers use them in large groups. It will save your voice. I never ordered one but I was tempted. Mom isn’t living with us anymore. It may be a solution for you though.

Good luck.

Next time your loved one is going to their primary care physician, send a note ahead of time or, if you are going with them, slip a note to the nurse asking the physician to write a "prescription" for a hearing test. Most physicians are happy to get out an old handheld prescription pad and write such a "prescription". No, it will not be paid by Medicare but hearing tests are usually free and I have found COSTCO to be the best place to start. If the doctor doesn't do it or your loved one still refuses, then every time he or she goes to another physician, they should be handed the same prescription. After 2 or 3 times of "hearing" it from someone else, they actually get the test.

raising your voice as with hearing loss it is still harder for her to hear. Higher pitch sounds as harder to hear. Lower your voice do not mean to whisper but most people with hearing loss can hear a man's voice over the higher pitch woman's voice.

Know this! You are not alone. My mom is 89 and has enough money to get a hearing aid but flat out refuses. I too have to raise my voice to an uncomfortable level. The TV has to be so loud it hurts my ears so I leave the room. Now my dad who's 84, is also hard of hearing. He thinks you've said something other than what you did say. It is so frustrating. Nothing we can do but grin and bear it. The kicker is remembering how they both said they hated talking to my grandmother because of her not wearing her hearing aids. When I remind them of the fact, they don't want to "hear" it. Hang in there.

I've read that hearing loss is a risk factor for cognitive decline. My Mum has both.

Just crossed my mind what comes first?

I assumed the hearing loss could decrease socializing & activities, leading to using the brain less. But maybe the cognitive decline is first - which impairs judgement? So when the person is told they need hearing aids they don't have the reasoning to accept it.

My Dh needed Hearing aids for 20 years before he got them. He missed SO MUCH.

When it got to the point where he was missing the announcements to board his flight and he was missing them--he kind of had a clue.

Also, I knelt down in front of him and BEGGED him to minimally have his baseline hearing checked. I was crying and past even trying to be kind. Said I was sick to death of screaming at him all the time. It was making me sick!

He reluctantly went to a local audiologist, had me go with him b/c he KNEW he would ace the hearing test. He failed it, epically. The audiologist was extremely kind and sensitive b/c to my DH, this made him 'old' but I know 20 yos who wear hearing aids!

I told him to get the aids that were the best fit for him. No $$ limit, as I was so sick of yelling all the time, and him looking like a demented old dude.

His ha's cost over $5K. Worth every penny. he can bluetooth music or a podcast through them. He can take them out or turn them off if he wants.

He still hasn't mastered to fine art of looking at a person's face when they talk--that would be helpful.

Having ALL my kids tell him how glad they were he addressed this issue helped too. I know he gets so sick of the sound of my voice, and he takes them out so he can ignore me, which is perfectly fine!!

I need to remember that I can't try to talk to him unless there is no other noise and he is LOOKING AT ME.

What can you do? Absolutely nothing! Just continue talking very loudly and listen to her ask why you're yelling, like I do with my mother. She accused my father of mumbling for years when he spoke in a perfectly clear voice. She accuses me of yelling all the time, but asks me to repeat myself 10x which forces me TO yell in order to be heard.

A no win situation for all concerned. Welcome to old age & the stubborn pig-headed mothers who refuse hearing aids. Which must be our fault, too, somehow.

Avoiding conversation sounds pretty reasonable. Write on paper a note that says ‘I’m not talking because you can’t hear what I say’, and produce it when she wants to talk. It won’t go down too well. At the moment M has no incentive to try anything, because she is forcing you to make all the changes. Stop!

I am going to be the party pooper here. My husband just had his check up for his new hearing aid. He wears behind the ear with a wheel for volume. His present one is about an inch and a half long. His new one is not more than an inch. No more wheel. Its a very small button on the top he has to press to turn up and down. Not sure how this is going to work because he has big hands.

Its very hard for the elderly to acclimate themselves to hearing aids. You may want to try some other things first. A member said they still have little box like things (like those transistor radios) with ear buds. There are also "TV ears" that are cordless that hook up to the TV. Then Mom wears a head piece to hear. She controls the volume from her head piece. That way others in the room can control the TV.

I would suggest that you talk, and everyone else, to Mom in a normal tone. By doing this, she may learn that she is the problem not everyone else. Also, look at her when u talk and slowly but not too slow. I think, unknowingly, we all lip read to a point. Keep your sentences short. Try not to have conversations.

5 years. That's how long it took my Mum to give in & get the hearing aides after tests showed they were needed.

Said they would make her look old.

I said get some to match your hair, no-one will ever notice them. People probably notice the glasses, the walking stick & the WHITE hair first. LOL

I looked at your profile and previous posts. Is your father still living? Is it recent that your mother now lives with you?

I had the same problem with my mother. She haughtily informed me that it's normal for elders to lose their hearing, and wait until *I* was old! She refused to consider hearing aids, and wouldn't even go back to the ENT in 6 months like he recommended.

Rather than repeat things multiple times, I just avoided conversation, as you are doing.

They don't realize that not hearing increases the cognitive decline. And my mother went to her regular doctor appointments without me going into the examining room (her orders), so I don't even think she heard what they were saying. They assumed she heard unless she said, "What?", and if she didn't hear something at all she wouldn't ask them to repeat it.

BUT I didn't live with her, so I can't imagine the frustration you must feel!

Take her to a hearing aid center for a baseline test. Maybe she will believe it when she hears it from someone else that can demonstrate to her what she has been missing.

Does she go to the doctor? Does the doc look in her ears?

Impacted earwax accounts for a lot of hearing issues, especially in elders. The fix is simple and painless.

How about a fiblet that she will lose her medical insurance if she doesn't have a checkup this year?

Pass a note to the doctor on you way in about checking for earwax.