Grief bites me sometimes to the extreme where I get lost. How do I function knowing she's suffering?

You and your mother are living through a nightmare. Your mother is unable to understand fully what is happening to her, but you are cruelly aware of every detail.

I can't imagine how you will get through this without professional, compassionate support. Are you in contact with anyone who could offer you that?

Based on your profile, you were taking care of your Mother since 2003 who is 76 years old and has age-related decline and alzheimer's / dementia. But then Jan 2017 everything changed--Your Mother developed a blister on her toe that spread infection like wildfire and your Mother had a Left Leg Above the Knee Amputation on 4-2-17. Your Mother went to the nursing home on ___________. Then your Mother had her Right Leg amputated 7-26-17.

You mention that you "hate her being in nursing home & I hate all the fights who what when where. If only I could make up my mind & stick to it. WHAT 2 DO I LUV HER SO MUCH IT HURTS"

I am so sorry that your Mother (and you) has been through much the past year. It is okay to grieve.

My therapist told me that I am grieving because I have lost the Mom that I knew and lived with the past 9 years (since 2008) within a week's time. On April 22, 2017 my Mom attended her grandson's wedding and was very social and talked with everyone and able to take care of herself (with my assistance). By May 2017, Mom was in the nursing home needing assistance with all cares related to Major Depression with Delusions and Dementia. She is now on the Memory Care Unit and uses a w/c (wheelchair) to get around. Some days she is very coherent and able to have a conversation and other days she has no idea who I am. {{SIGH}}

You also have lost the Mom that you knew and loved and it hurts. Grieve all that you want. Let God be your HOPE (Romans 15:13) and your COMFORT (II Corinthians 1:5) and Strength (Isaiah 41:10).

I am not sure of your situation. But, knowing another is suffering does cause tremendous grief to those who love them. It is very difficult. I find my strength in Jesus.
And all that I do is continual prayer for that person and then show them as much love as possible. I try and do things that make them smile or forget their struggle even if for a moment. We can only do so much as humans and it is such a torture on our hearts when those we love are suffering. But, we cannot fix them, only do what we can to make their lives as best as it can possibly be.
Prayer is an amazing gift we were given for such times as these.

I don't understand your situation. Please explain what's going on. I don't want to see you left without help. But there's no information for anyone to work with.