My FIL is 91. He and my MIL are in a wonderful assisted living facility. He has dementia and the inability to do anything for himself except eat. He's in a wheelchair or in bed 24/7. Still friendly, of a happy disposition and knows most people. A rare blessing with this disease. Frequently confused (place and time are the most common), but that's to be expected.
Dad has reached the place in his disease where he is choking on food and water. The hospice nurse (we brought them proactively) has requested a Mechanically Softened Diet. Most of the time, the kitchen/staff are good about it, but often they are not. When asked about it, they say "we gave him a few chips because he felt bad that he didn't have any." Honestly, I get it! Food and the enjoyment of partaking in a meal in the dining room with friendly people is about all he has left. Getting bowl of tiny, chopped up chicken and mashed potatoes is distressing to him when everyone else is getting a salad, baked potato and a grilled chicken breast.
Aspiration pneumonia is a liklihood if the staff keeps giving him little bits of things that he enjoys. Heck, the most usual suspect in his choking is a glass of water. He loves, loves a glass "of icy cold water, the colder the better."
Have any of you struggled with doing what's best medically, and doing what is enjoyable for a person that doesn't have long to live? What did you decide and how did you make the decision?