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My dad is in memory care and has recently been placed on hospice. He is living close to me, but he would like his funeral to take place in his home town (which is over an hour away). Does anyone have an recommendations on what to look for in a local funeral home?

It depends on what your wishes are.
Do you want a wake? Need to schedule time in the evening before the actual funeral for people to view the deceased and talk with you and other family members.
Do you want a casket with a prepared body present? Then, you will need to have a mortuary prepare the body for viewing and move it to where the funeral/memorial is taking place.
Do you want the body cremated? Look for cremation services before or after the funeral/memorial. Ask about delivery of the remains and decide what you will do with the remains.
Do you just need a service? You can have a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life any place that makes you feel like you honored your loved one and gives you peace. It can be in a funeral home, a place of worship, outdoors...
Another option? Check out tissue donations. You can donate organs for transplant. You can also donate tissues for research. In the case of tissue research, the organization collects the body of the deceased, removes the tissues needed for research, cremates the remains, and sends the remains to the family/next of kin - usually at no or very low cost.
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Reply to Taarna
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Is he (or was he) a member of a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple? If yes, then ask the clergy there for their recommendations. Although you do need a funeral home, there's nothing that says the visitation or funeral must occur there. Houses of worship usually have a fellowship hall where the visitation can occur. And if the deceased is religious in any way, the best way to honor him is to have a funeral consistent with his religious beliefs and have it in the church, synagogue, mosque or temple. It was truly an honor to have all three of my late husband's sister and one of my sisters serve as lectors and lead those assembled in the prayers of the faithful at his Requiem Eucharist. You can also search the obituaries in the newspaper in his home town. They'll usually indicate which funeral home assisted the family. You can contact them to figure out which one would be the "best fit" for him. Depending on the dictates of his faith (if any), he'll also need a funeral plot and a grave marker if he wishes to be buried. If he prefers cremation (most faiths permit it as long as the ashes are in an urn and buried in a funeral plot, stored in a niche in a columbarium, or buried in a memorial garden). If he professed no faith, just do the best to honor his wishes to the best of your understanding.
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Reply to swmckeown76
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Hospice can help you with that. They can't necessarily recommend one but they can let you know who a lot of their patients use which should be a good indicator of the better ones.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Madge20, one thing you can do is go on-line and search for funeral homes. View their websites and see how many funerals they handle during a time frame. If you see a lot of funerals being held from one funeral home compared to other, then you can be assured it is well run.
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Reply to freqflyer
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YELP Reviews, go Visit some
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Reply to KNance72
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I did a "Pre pay" funeral with a local home and I was assured that if I moved the payments that I made would be good at other funeral homes.
You can check with the local one or the one where he wants his funeral and see what arrangements can be made.
No matter what funeral home you chose they are going to charge you by the mile for transport.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Madge20 Jan 16, 2025
Thank you!
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You will be able to do a preneed planning for your Dads arrangements. FH pretty used to dealing with non local transportation issue; like will be a surcharge if over 30/50 miles. Be sure to mention he is enrolled in hospice as that lessens any issues for getting a death certificate done (otherwise usually have to have a coroners office report and those are done by each county, which might mean a slight delay). If this is an inhome anticipated death, you as PoA may need to do a notarized authorization for entry (to the home) in advance (just in case you are not there).

One big issue with doing death planning is that most often a funeral home DOES NOT ALSO own the cemetery for where the burial will be. So there actually are 2 costs but you are only dealing directly with the FH. The FH can deal with the pickup, transpo to FH, embalming, visitation/Celebration of Life, noticed in the papers, memorial cards, doing entry to Legacy.com, filing of death certificates BUT there will be a whole other series of costs & regulations related to the cemetery. So if you want a turnkey/ coordinated funeral and burial with 1 invoice, you have to pick one that does both. They are usually called “Memorial Park and Funeral Home”. A quick Google show 2 big ones in OR; both have several gorgeous acres; 1 was a former farm & the other is a whopping 400+ ac. Betcha either will drive over to wherever to provide their services.

The separate burial charges you especially see for Catholic burials as their cemeteries owned by the Archdiocese. Ages ago this was part of being a member of a parish, but not nowadays. Will have costs for their own ground prep, regulations for headstone and which firms are authorized, fee for opening the cemetery or opening a vault, maybe even maintenance fees. Families can be gobsmacked by all this.
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Reply to igloo572
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Madge20 Jan 16, 2025
Thank you so much!
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Join Nextdoor.com, which is an intranet of your actual neighbors and nearby community (and non-anonymous).

Make a post similar to:

"ISO Funeral home recommendations"

You will instantly get all sorts of first-hand experiences and info (and places to stay away from).

Will save you time and effort. It's how I start researching most things local to me.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Madge20 Jan 16, 2025
Thank you!
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Call any Hospice agency in your/in the area where Dad lives. They will have vetted the people they recommend.
If you have a trusted facility in your own area they will also often be able to recommend. We have chosen two ourselves given we are 82 and 84 respectively, using the recommendations from across the state when my brother's cremation was so beautifully handled. Not only could they recommend for my area, but had specific people for me to talk to.
Good luck.
Speak with friends in that area, also, if there are still contacts who know dad.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Be careful of underline cost that they don't explain. Things like thank you cards and stuff start adding up the cost and they don't explain it, or your just understandable upset and not listening.

I think NYS recently passed a law on funeral homes doing this , I read they did anyways.

So sorry for what you and your family are going through
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Is dad affiliated with a church, or any clubs in his home town? I would call them (and any old friends still there) and ask for recommendations.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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