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My Mom has POA for my grandma. Everytime she comes over, my aunt treats her like a little kid. That she can’t do anything on her own. She stresses her out so much. Makes her very emotional and makes her cry. She’s never like that, and never cries. Only when my aunt is around. Can my mom legally tell her she can’t come over?

What has your mom tried so far?
It would be good if your mom could show your aunt on a video how she and GM interact.

It’s so much easier to see our actions in this manner. Even if it is just on your cell phone. Then video GM interaction with several other people so aunt can see how others interact and your GM doesn’t cry.

It also occurred to me that perhaps your aunt is seen by her mom as someone who is going to help her. It’s like a child that stumps their toe and cries while out playing with their friends. They get over it and start playing again but when they head home and see mom, they remember the hurt and how they wanted mom when they were hurt and start crying all over again. It’s like an emotional release.

But the real deal here to answer your question is what would your GM say? If she wants to see her daughter and have a good cry, why limit their time together?

Could your mom go out then, take a break?

Could GM be given a little anti anxiety tablet to take the edge off when your aunt visits? Does aunt just pop in unannounced and disrupt the day?

It is good to remember that as GMs Alz progresses, her behavior will change. It’s a tough disease.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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I agree its hard to ban a daughter from seeing Mom. Just have Mom talk to her and tell her it upsets Mom. She may not even realize what she is doing.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Does the Aunt know her visits bring on tears and distress? If you can inform her, she may be willing to change the way she relates to Grandmother. Could it be a conflict between the 2 younger (sisters?) ladies causing the upset? Is there a competition for favor, or "You've always been Moms Favorite" jealousy involved?
Banning a visitor seems likely to cause even more problems and ill-feelings. Most elderly need more company, not fewer visitors.
Good luck
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Reply to BallyS
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