I had a long talk with my brother yesterday who is the DPOA of Mother's estate. My younger brother, with whom she lives has MPOA (so he states, we don't have any proof, other than he says he is). The concern is this: She's getting worse (anyone who has followed my posts knows about this) and I have had some advice over the past weeks to look into long term care, to do it NOW and even get on a waiting list, for what it likely to be where mother will wind up in a year, maybe less.
Problem we have is, the brother with "MPOA" says she will go into a facility "over his dead body". Well, I don't think the decision of mother's entire medical care rests on his shoulders. He does. She is going downhill fairly rapidly, and one fall or pneumonia is going to be too much for her. I am NOT taking the reins and saying she has to go into a NH. I am trying to be proactive and see what is out there and what it will cost. She has a LTC policy that pays around $200 a day for up to 2 years. That, plus her SS will pay for a fairly nice facility here, if needed. (We're thinking if she becomes wheelchair bounds--that's pretty much 24/7 care-and her place is not wheelchair accessible)
There are 5 living sibs. My take on this is, MPOA is not much more than a person who can say "These are mother's wishes and I will see them carried out". I DON'T think it means he can control what meds she does and doesn't take and what she can or cannot have as far as medical help. He's being pretty aggressive and really, really angry about the thought of a NH or ALF.
The DPOA brother knows he's the executor and co-signs any checks over a certain amount. He's watching mom's finances and such. MPOA is being kind of a stinker and causing some unnecessary anxiety. (The "careplan" he has outlined if mother winds up bedbound or in a wheelchair are inhumane, to my thinking)
I think that all 5 of us need to be on the same page. I don't think MPOA has more "votes". Don't want this to get dramatic (again!). (Yes, I can 'google' this, and funny enough, my son is an attorney, but he doesn't answer my questions--so I am going where I know I will get the right answers!)