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He's almost 90 and has vascular dementia and probably Alz according to dr. (dr said 60% are mixed). He is forgetting he is in his home of 36 years. All family has passed except for me. My husband and I have been helping him and caring for him in various ways since mom died in '97. ( we live 70 miles away) Now he is eating breakfast and going back to bed. My daughter and her family (3 boys ages 5, 2 and 11 mo) live with him. It's noisy so he could be getting away from it all or he could be depressed or just tired. It's hard to know. Because he is forgetting he's at home and forgetting who we all are and has other behaviors (peeing in the sink for one; putting things away where they don't go; putting wet and dirty dishes back in cabinet, etc. he wants to be helpful) I'm wondering if he might be better in a home with more stimulation or where he is. He has an acre of land that he putters around on. I hate the idea of cooping him up in AL. Thoughts?

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Sounds like he might be more than your daughter can handle, especially with 3 kids.  Have you talked to her to find out what she wants to do?  Some Memory Care units have great outdoor spaces that they can wander around in plus activities.  If that's not possible, how about a Senior Day Program for ALZ/Dementia clients?  Make sure they have a wide variety of activities and a wide range of clients with different levels of the disease so he will have someone he can connect with. My mom attends one daily and it's wonderful.  All my best.
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