I care for my 93-year-old mom 24/7. I swear she never sleeps! No naps ever, wakes all night with hallucinations, won't sit still. We have tried every drug and nothing fazes this woman. Everyone says redirect. Easier said than done when you are worn down. She is very negative and nasty at times. Wants to go home of course. Feeling tired :(

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Mary Teresa,
Am there, doing that too. I have exact same problem with my 95 year old mother.
We've tried Ativan, Seroquel and are now on Trazadone. She's still awake but much quieter.
We have a night caregiver 4 nights a week, then hubby and I take turns sleeping in her room the other 3 nights. I work 2 days a week and have to have my sleep the night before. The caregiver has been a God send. I would highly recommend this if you have the funds for it.

I would also suggest that your mother be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. They can adjust the right types and dosages of meds to calm your mom down.

If the Trazadone doesn't work for us, her doctor said he'd make the geriatric psych doctor referral.

I've also found that, even though my mother is starting the end stage 7 (Alzheimer's), she is still manipulative. She gets the poor c/g to take her to the bathroom 5 times a night. (No UTI) I tell her she can go once. She has diapers, pads and bedpads. I just won't let her get up and so she stays in bed. I've told the c/g not to go more than once also.

I can handle anything IF I am well rested. If not, I'm ready to bite your head off. Plus it's bad for your health.
You must get her doctor to refer her to the geriatric psych. doctor for a medication evaluation. YOUR life depends on it.
Good luck to us. 😴💤
Helpful Answer (1)

Oh MaryTheresa! How very, very difficult caring for a loved one becomes on little to no sleep! Sleep is not optional. Humans need it to survive. Depriving someone of sleep is used as a form of torture, after all.

Somehow, because her brain is broken, your mother is getting by with small snatches of sleep here and there. But you certainly can not.

So somehow, you have to solve this problem of your own sleep deprivation. I know that was the one thing that would have sent my husband to a care center. Fortunately his doctors were willing to work with me and came up with a drug solution.

When you say "tired every drug" do you mean OTC sleep aids, or things her doctors have prescribed? Don't give up! Lay it on the line with her doctors, "I cannot continue to care for her without sleep. Which would be worse for her, the possible side effects of this drug, or moving her into a care?" This problem is more severe than some doctors realize, especially if they are not specialists in dementia.

Are they trying to treat/prevent the hallucinations? I know that can be very resistant to treatment, but what are they trying?

Another option would be to bring in a personal care attendant for a night shift. Let him or her handle the hours you sleep.

Or send her to an adult day program several days a week, and sleep while she is there. (Not ideal, but one option.)

Redirecting? That can help with the wanting to go home issue. I can't figure out how it would work for being up all night or getting up frequently.

And, the ultimate solution, and it may turn out to be the only solution, is to place Mother in an appropriate level care center. Be her loving daughter who visits often, and not her 24/7 caregiver!
Helpful Answer (4)

During that phase you just cannot do it alone. My husband and I were able to tag team it. One stayed up half the night then we swapped. Others hire a night time caregiver. Is there anyway you can get some help in so you can sleep?
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