Follow
Share

I have of friend of 40 years who has been like a mother to me and a true friend. She has no children of her own and her memory has failed somewhat. She feels she has made a mistake with the person (who was a real-estate agent that she has known for about twenty years) and has made her the POA. My friend said she never comes to see her and shows her no records of where her money is going. When I contacted the person she got very upset with me and threaten that she would get a lawyer which makes me a little suspicious. Is there any way that I can get a copy of the POA document to make sure she is being honest with taking care of my best friend.
I went to visit her in the assistant living that she has placed my friendin. I was there for 5 days and there were no night lights in the rooms to keep her safe at night from tripping. It looked like the furniture was just dumped in her room with no thought of where cables came in for TV. I hooked up an antenna system so she can get old free TV stations to watch to keep her mind sharp.
Her eyes are getting bad which stops her from reading and rooms are dark if there is no sun out which makes it even harder for her to see.
PLEASE HELP.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
EngBates, I just thought of something else. Do you know if your friend has any memory issues? Sometimes it is hard for a visitor to notice that because a person who has Alzheimer's/Dementia can be pretty good at being clear minded while the visitor is there [honestly, don't know how they do that].

The fact that the current POA got upset when you called her, makes me wonder if your friend is telling this situation to everyone she sees and those people are harassing the POA. Just a thought. Maybe the POA is doing everything regarding being a POA.

I was POA for my parents, I visited them once a week at their house [they were in their 90's] to delivery groceries. My parents always said that they "could manage" so I had no hands-on care.... my job was to be their wheels.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Unfortunately appointing someone POA is no guarantee that they are willing or able to take on the role of an active, hands on caregiver, this is true in families as well as relationships like your friends. Unless your friend has been deemed mentally incompetent she should still have full access to her funds to pay for the things she needs like floor lamps and night lights and to arrange for extra help to move her furniture. The fact she was unable to see how to help herself makes me wonder if she has lost the ability to make wise choices.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Is your friend able to remember enough to know where her POA and other important documents are stored? If she has them at AL, which would make sense since that's apparently her home now, she can give you a copy if she remembers that she has it.

Otherwise, take FF's suggestion and consult an attorney to have the POA rescinded and a new one issued, assuming that's what your friend wants.

Given her vision status, I think some of the issues you raise as to the condition in your friend's room could be hazards.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

POA is about financial and legal decisions. It is not about hands-on personal care. So it wouldn't really be expected that the POA would arrange the room or buy nightlights or even necessarily visit. Often the POA is also the primary caregiver and so would do those things, but it isn't part of the POA duties.

If your friend is unhappy with the POA she has, she can very easily change it, as long as she can understand the concept of allowing someone else to handle her finances (as freqflyer says).

It is not likely that you can get a copy of the POA document unless your friend knows where her copy is and shows it to you. In any case, just seeing what the POA is supposed to do wouldn't give you evidence about whether the current POA is really doing it!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Good heavens, most Assisted Living facility would re-arrange the furniture so that everything is in a good location, even the TV for the cable. Night lights are inexpensive, but not everyone likes to use them [every room in my house has one]. Buy one for your friend and place it so that she can see her way to the bathroom. Chances are at night the Aides go around numerous times to check on your friend and if she is awake to help her to the bathroom.

As for the dark room, ask the front desk at the Assisted Living for the handyman to install brighter bulbs in the ceiling lights. Or you could purchase some higher wattage bulbs for her lamps, if the lamps allow a higher wattage, most newer lights have a sticker saying how high a wattage can be used.

If your friend is still of clear mind, have her set up an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney and you drive her there. Your friend can choose anyone she wants to be her Power of Attorney as long as she can still understand the legal document. She can choose you or even choose a CPA to handle her money.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.