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We have found a place for my 84 year old mom. She has been living with my husband and I for 8 months, she has dementia on a test given by a social worker she got a 10 where 30 is the highest score. I baby sit my 1 1/2 year old grandson, I have lots of animals which she doesn't like. She has become violent with me and has left scars from scratches. I love my mom, but she is getting to be too much for me, I feel so guilty doing it. The last week she has done nothing. No violence. I guess my question is should I still go through with the admission.

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I have to say that I have a real bias toward facility care for dementia patients, including my mom.

Hey, I knew that mom and I could never live together, ever. We were just two really different people. But my SIL absolutely adored my mother, and my mom adored her. The plan was always for mom to move in to brother's house as mom aged.

But mom developed vascular dementia from a stroke. To quote my wonderful SIL: "I love mom, but I can't cope with her living here if she's crazy". It was a very accurate and loving assessment.

Mom benefited from the professional care at the NH from folks who understood dementia and who understood what she MEANT even if the aphasia meant that the words came out wrong.

Having mom get that level of care was amazing; it allowed us to visit, have good times, bring treats and great grandchildren, have holiday celebrations at the NH. Mom was in good hands.
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Absolutely. If she has had episodes of violence, sad to say she will again. This could be dangerous if she is ever left alone with the baby. Bad things can happen in seconds. The most predictable thing with dementia is it’s unpredictability. She has settled down, for now, but when something triggers her violent outbreaks, she will lash out at the nearest person. Also, be sure to have her checked regularly for urinary tract infections. I had my mom checked monthly by the facility she was in. When they found out she had become combative during one and fought with the nurses, the facility made sure to test her monthly.
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Has your mom been to the doctor to test for a UTI? Was this violence something that hadn't occured before?

A sudden change in behavior is called a "change in mental status" and needs to be reported to mom's doctor immediately. There are sometimes medical reasons that people's behavior changes, like a UTI.
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