This is why I think the person being assigned should be present and sign they are willing to except the responsibility. I was present but not asked to sign.
You call the lawyer who drew up the POA and tell him you were not consulted and you are refusing the assignment.
The easiest way is, as soon as you become aware someone has assigned you this duty, write them a letter saying you will not be able to serve in this fiduciary capacity, and they should appoint someone else.
At the point that you actually accept this duty--and DOING it is ACCEPTING it--this becomes more problematic.
If the person is currently not incapacitated by dementia it is a simple matter of sending a letter resigning and removing yourself and notifying any entities you signed up as POA on (banks, insurance companies, bills and etc) that you are no longer the POA. Make certain that you tell the principle that you will turn over any records to their newly appointed POA.
If the person is currently incapacitated mentally, then you need to take further measures that are a good deal more complicated, and you should see an elder law attorney. You will need not only to resign but the attorney and the courts will need to see that family or a court appointed fiduciary for the state will take over, be appointed.
She will have to revoke your POA and place that on file with a lawyer . She should have asked you it is a great responsibility and only someone who lives close by should do that job and usually they are healthcare proxy so it sounds like she was setting you up to be Caregiver - does she have any children or siblings ? Your doing the right thing by removing yourself .
Thank you so much for your post. Sometimes I wish I had not taken on this responsibility. It can be all consuming. I have been managing my mother's affairs for years, however as she grew older, I knew a POA would become necessary. It's interesting that you were assigned POA without your knowledge/consent. I thought it required a designee to agree/sign the document in front of an attorney. However, I do understand the tremendous responsibility, especially when qualifying for state assistance programs like Medicaid. It is also emotionally taxing protecting their assets, responding to everyone's questions, record keeping, etc. You are basically the go to person for the loved one and if you are in another state, this must be particularly hard. Resigning from POA is a common question on the forum and under Care Topics of the agingcare website, there is an article on this topic. This is an excerpt below and there are other articles that may be helpful under the Care Topics. I don't necessarily agree about the need to have an attorney draft the letter. It's not that complicated and if you enter "How to Resign from POA" in your computer's search engine you can find some examples. However, notarization is important as there is a witness. What I would say is if your aunt has an attorney then it is best to loop them in because if your aunt is mentally incapacitated then you have someone who does represent her aware of the situation and it is on file. Good luck to you. I will keep your family in prayer.
"To resign, an agent must compose a formal letter notifying the principal, any co-agents and all parties with which the original POA has been filed, such as banks, elder care providers, etc. While each state has different rules for relinquishing POA, taking formal steps to notify all involved parties offers the most protection from any legal issues. It’s best to sign the resignation letter before a notary and then send copies of it via certified mail with return receipt requested. In this letter, you’ll want to include your full name, the principal’s full name, the date that the original POA document was signed and the date you will terminate your position as an agent. An attorney can help you draft this document easily and at minimal expense if you need help."
Thank you for your response. I've had days where I too have wanted to RESIGN as DPOA, but I take a day or two to "breathe" and put myself first. That's a "big" mistake many POAs make. You have given Tiredniece23 the most important of all advice .... Get back to the lawyer who drew up the POA or like I did, get an Elder Care Lawyer to help with some of the State and Federal paperwork.
Also, she should check, there may have been an individual who was designated as a backup should the primary be incapacitated for any reason. My documentation did, because I was going to have surgery and might not be able to take care of duties during that time. Again, the lawyer who drew up the POA would know this,.
Yes. It is an immense responsibility.If possible, call the attorney who drew it up and let him/her handle it.
At the very least ASAP, send a certified letter (receipt return indicating delivery/acceptance of letter) to this person [and their attorney] specifying that you were not asked to be the POA, that you did not agree to this role / responsibility, and you are not their POA as of (date).
It is perplexing as to why a person would designate another without their consent. And, how an attorney, if one drew up this document, did so without conferring / discussing with you.Gena / Touch Matters
Not true. The person assigned as POA doesn't have to sign the document. Maybe in some states, but certainly not in mine (California).
No one should be assigned POA without their knowledge and consent, but their signature is not a requirement. My kids are our POAs, and they don't live in the same state and have never even seen the documents. They do know they were given POA, though.
I've had this same desire for years now! I am POA for my biological father and his wife, and they both have dementia at this point. I didn't know them most of my life. I can't imagine doing it for an aunt in another state. You are quite kind, but enough is likely enough now.May I suggest a third option to those offered below? I used a woman named Star Bradbury in Florida who is a generic Elder Care Consultant (Google her!) She's cheaper and more compassionate than the elder law attorneys I've had to use for now five of my elderly family members who needed various levels of care. She is knowledgeable about the whole thing, including the psychological parts. She even wrote a book related to this topic. Her literary agent is my friend. She's been an angel for me.
I named my only niece and nephew as poa using the same law firm as I hired to probate my mother's estate. I can't even remember how the law firm handled that. I just put all the legal papers away at the time as I had to relocate twice after my own mother died. We lived together and I was her caregiver. I had to sell the house to pay her debts in the probate process. I just txtd my nephew the other day about something and told him I would not be angry if he did not want to be poa. To tell you the truth until then it never occurred to me as I was so preoccupied with getting myself resettled to check and see if either still wanted to be. I just assumed they would tell me outright if they ever changed their minds. I for one as an out of state Aunt will not hold it against them if they don't. I thought it so kind how they supported me when their Grandmother died. I hope they both feel safe enough to be honest with me regarding poa. Now I must go search for legal papers to see about the poa. But do not be afraid to inform your Aunt. Better to tell her now than when she may really need you to carry out any poa duties. You have to do the right thing for you. Better she be informed now.
Tiredniece23: Send a letter to the principal, assuming she is of lucid mind resigning and removing yourself as their agent (Power of Attorney). The principal will then have to find another Power of Attorney.
You call the lawyer who drew up the POA and tell him you were not consulted and you are refusing the assignment.
At the point that you actually accept this duty--and DOING it is ACCEPTING it--this becomes more problematic.
If the person is currently not incapacitated by dementia it is a simple matter of sending a letter resigning and removing yourself and notifying any entities you signed up as POA on (banks, insurance companies, bills and etc) that you are no longer the POA. Make certain that you tell the principle that you will turn over any records to their newly appointed POA.
If the person is currently incapacitated mentally, then you need to take further measures that are a good deal more complicated, and you should see an elder law attorney. You will need not only to resign but the attorney and the courts will need to see that family or a court appointed fiduciary for the state will take over, be appointed.
"To resign, an agent must compose a formal letter notifying the principal, any co-agents and all parties with which the original POA has been filed, such as banks, elder care providers, etc. While each state has different rules for relinquishing POA, taking formal steps to notify all involved parties offers the most protection from any legal issues. It’s best to sign the resignation letter before a notary and then send copies of it via certified mail with return receipt requested. In this letter, you’ll want to include your full name, the principal’s full name, the date that the original POA document was signed and the date you will terminate your position as an agent. An attorney can help you draft this document easily and at minimal expense if you need help."
Also, she should check, there may have been an individual who was designated as a backup should the primary be incapacitated for any reason. My documentation did, because I was going to have surgery and might not be able to take care of duties during that time. Again, the lawyer who drew up the POA would know this,.
At the very least ASAP, send a certified letter (receipt return indicating delivery/acceptance of letter) to this person [and their attorney] specifying that you were not asked to be the POA, that you did not agree to this role / responsibility, and you are not their POA as of (date).
It is perplexing as to why a person would designate another without their consent. And, how an attorney, if one drew up this document, did so without conferring / discussing with you.Gena / Touch Matters
No one should be assigned POA without their knowledge and consent, but their signature is not a requirement. My kids are our POAs, and they don't live in the same state and have never even seen the documents. They do know they were given POA, though.
You have to do the right thing for you. Better she be informed now.
See All Answers