I've been taking care of him since he broke his hip and during surgery he stopped breathing. Which has left him weak and unable to do for himself. I'm 73 and have a bad back from lifting him. Also I have hernia in stomach. Barely get anything done in house. Seems till I get him up and wash waste down, it's lunch. He has incontinence and has a lot of accidents. I don't know what they charge to have someone help me with him or house work.

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Born2fish, no one likes to hear this, including me, but we’re too old to be doing the work of 20/30 somethings. In a facility, there are aides and nurses and doctors around the clock. There are special beds and lifts and chairs, railings and transfer boards.

I do for my husband what you do for yours. I have a bad back and bad shoulders and it’s dedinitely gotten much worse over the past five years since he’s been bedridden. If there were any way possible that he could go to a facility. You betcha he’d be on his way. But, he’d be dead within a year he’d be so miserable. And I’d have to move and give up my house and animals. So I understand how you feel. But I think that time is coming for both of us.

if he is on Medicare or Medicaid and has other insurance, call them and see what help he qualifies for. They can also give you a list of Home Health providers who accept your particular insurance coverage. I agree with calling his doctor and the social worker at the hospital/rehab and explaining the situation to them.

Good luck. Let us know what happens.
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Call the hospital where he was a patient and talk to the social worker. Tell them your situation and see if they offer any advice. You can also do this with his doctor. This is not doable for you, it will injure you and then hubby truly will have no help. I don’t understand why he isn’t in rehab or if he did go there he clearly wasn’t ready to come home. Anyway, please reach out for help locally
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I don't see your being his caregiver as being sustainable long-term.

You have a bad back and stomach hernia, and should NOT be lifting him.

Sounds to me as he might need placement in a facility. Even if you get in-home help, it will not be enough for the apparently 24 hours a day that he needs help. (Does he sleep through the night? Do you have nighttime caregiving duties?)
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Born2fish, I'm sorry that seven hours have passed without reply to your post - I don't know why it happened.

If you search online for Area Agency on Aging in [name of your county], you should easily find contact numbers for your nearest services. Give them a call, and they should be able to advise you. Don't delay! Your husband needs support for his personal care, and you need support as his primary caregiver - you're *entitled* to ask for sympathetic, practical help.

The other thing is - weren't you offered any advice or aftercare support when your husband was discharged from rehab after his surgery? How long ago was this?
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