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My son doesnt live with us but has spent countless hours away from his family
Staying at our house to take care of various problems. When our younger son passed away unexpectably in august our first son did everything that needed to be done. At the same time he found a condo closer to him, did a ton of real estate and financial work that all had to be studied explicitely. He then packed us up and moved us. I gave him $1000. For his work. I also gave the wife of my youngest son $1000 because he was on disability and there was not enough money for she and her son to make it through a few weeks of grieving. Will I get in trouble for this with the 5 year countdown?

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mythyme, I can certainly understand why you would give your family members this money! It is definitely not to hide assets from Medicaid. What you did is morally right (in my mind) and it would be good if you can document it so it doesn't interfere with legal regulations. For example, when you give money to your son to compensate him for some work he does for you, make it clear it is a payment, not a gift. Draw up a simple agreement stating what he will do and how much you will pay him. Make it clear to him that you know he is acting in love and doesn't demand a "payment," but that doing it this way is best for you.

As for giving your daughter-in-law money to help her through a grieving period, if Medicaid disallows it and you have a small penalty, I guess I'd just live with it.

Have you applied for Medicaid yet? I take it that you are still living in Washington, perhaps close to the Canadian border?
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