Any ideas on how I can get my husband not to ask me the same question every few minutes, as he obsesses about a small problem?

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We were charged twice for a monthly gym membership, I told him I would take care of it in the morning. He would repeatedly ask me , what it was that he was bothered about, and then if I told him, he would get angry all over again. He will leave the room and then come back with the same question minutes later. I asked if he would write down the answer I had given him, so that he could see it. He would then get upset that I wasn't being sympathetic to his memory problems. Is it unreasonable to expect him to try this? This went on for an hour or more tonight. I sometimes lose my patience and get angry. Sometimes I feel like he is so used to me doing things for him , that he won't even try to do things that he is still capable of doing.

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Great suggestions above. I think the Teepa Snow you tube videos are good too as recommended above. 
 I recall how overwhelmed I would get when I encountered this kind of thing with my LO. I read things here and other places to learn how to cope. It still wasn't easy. I think that you really have to develop a whole new way of looking at things. You have to be prepared for what is not really a person who is thinking clearly and processing information the same way.

For example, I used to think that my LO could be able to push the button for help in the AL when she was done on the toilet. She needed help cleaning up. So, I put a large, bright sign that said, "PRESS BUTTON FOR HELP." And it was placed right in front of her. But, even though she saw the sign, she could read it....her brain did not translate it to her brain. So, she would sit there waiting indefinitely. It was frustrating, but, she just lost a lot of her ability to reason, process, etc. I had to lower my expectation.  Gradually, she's lost the ability to do most things. 
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Is it unreasonable to expect him to try writing the answer down? No. But reason has nothing to do with this. His brain is broken. You can accept the reasonableness of your request, but he cannot.

It is frustrating "that he won't even try to do things that he is still capable of doing." But you really don't know what he is capable of doing at any given moment. My husband was capable of getting himself a glass of water, except when he wasn't. It is the generally accepted advice to allow persons with dementia to do for themselves the things they can still do safely. The trick is figuring out exactly what that is, and accepting that the answer won't be consistent day to day.

Getting upset and losing your patience is very understandable and human. Don't beat yourself up about it. It is also not at all productive and can just make matter worse. I hope that you can learn to accept this symptom of his broken brain with a little less stress.
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Unfortunately, you can't change him. You can only change your response and acceptance of the situation. Blessings.
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LindaJane, has anyone recommended Teepa Snow to you yet? She deals very well with repetitive questioning - and of course you have the double whammy that your husband is questioning you about what he wants to question you about... ugh, it must be doing your head in. Hugs.
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I do the same, just agree, say yes, or answer any affirmative answer. It has been going on for 4 years. She is stuck in a loop and her response is pretty much the same: she will exclaim " oh yes."
The simple theme here is to protect dignity. Any negativity here will make it worse
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Here's what a friend did when her Dad, in a home, wanted her to take his car in to have it worked on.
Day1- J can u take my car into the shop. J said OK Dad.

Day2- J did u take my car in. J-yes Dad,

Day3- J are they done with my car. J-yes Dad I put it in the garage. Dad- OK

There was no car. She just went along with him. Thats what u could do. A little white lie won't hurt. No matter what time it is say "I handled it and everything is OK". A Dementia patient can't understand all the ins and outs. My mother had my disabled nephew living with her. I took him to his doctor visits. I would explain to her what went on...in one ear and out the other. So we chose not to tell her what went on and she never asked. You can't argue with a Dementia patient and believe me I did. They can no longer reason or process. They get something on their mind and thats it. You have to learn to redirect.
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