My 38-year-old son has C.P. and uses an electric wheelchair. My husband just passed and now it’s just us. I need help.

If he won't allow it then you tell Medicaid he needs to be placed because you need to work and cannot care for him. I would make that very blunt to him too. You should not gave to give up your job to care for him. I am sure you have done alot for him over the years. He needs to do this for himself. I may also cintact APS and ask them if they can explain to him that its this or being placed. He probably is considered a vulnerable adult if he allows no one to be with him during the day.

Moderators, please relocate this thread to the Questions section.

I'm very sorry about the loss of your husband.

Your son does not get a choice, nor an argument. Schedule the caregiver(s). Even if he resists at first. he'll come on board once he realizes he needs them because you are gone.

Both suggestions are spot on. Make it clear to him that HE is not the one calling the shots. He will accept care as it is given or go to a care home.

I would explain to John that the other option for him is to go into care.

Of course there will be an argument. He’s gotten used to life the way it’s been, but that’s no longer possible. You need to get bluntly honest and face his unhappiness with a new but necessary plan. Tell him you need to work, he must accept outside help, or the alternative is him moving to a facility that will provide the help he requires. I had an aunt with cerebral palsy who was fiercely opinionated. She also couldn’t live independently and had to accept help from others besides family in her adult years. She didn’t like it but that didn’t make it not required. She was quite spoiled to the ways she’d had it but still had to adjust. Your son will as well. Don’t argue with him, just be factual and firm. I’m sorry for the loss of your husband. I wish you both peace