I have pretty much the same problem. However, only I really see it as dementia. The rest of the family sees it a a mood that old people get. Mama has her tantrums and will carry on for hours, with or without interaction from me. Of course she accuses me of avoiding her which is true but you can't win. Even to correct her starts a long tantrum. When dealing with my mother, I have come to the conclusion: You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. You can only calm her down by letting her calm down. It can be a few minutes, a few hours, or days. In the end, you won't win and you can't get out of the game.
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Are her outbursts more in the evening? Often it happens more in the evening, and is called sundowning.
I took care of a lady for a while, the best way to deal with her when she was sundowning was to ignore her. I gotta say , if someone saw me I looked like a jerk, she would be crying and I'd just sit there reading a magazine, flipping pages. Any interaction I gave her just made it worse.
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