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helplesshick Asked July 24, 2025

Loved one will stop talking... but gradually.

I have pretty much the same problem. However, only I really see it as dementia. The rest of the family sees it a a mood that old people get. Mama has her tantrums and will carry on for hours, with or without interaction from me. Of course she accuses me of avoiding her which is true but you can't win. Even to correct her starts a long tantrum. When dealing with my mother, I have come to the conclusion: You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. You can only calm her down by letting her calm down. It can be a few minutes, a few hours, or days. In the end, you won't win and you can't get out of the game.

Drivingdaisy Jul 24, 2025
If you haven't, watch Teepa Snow on YouTube, she will give you much information about all dementias, maybe you can convince your family, to watch her. But from my experience, they would rather live in denial, that way they do not have to deal with it, or help more.

Are her outbursts more in the evening? Often it happens more in the evening, and is called sundowning.

I took care of a lady for a while, the best way to deal with her when she was sundowning was to ignore her. I gotta say , if someone saw me I looked like a jerk, she would be crying and I'd just sit there reading a magazine, flipping pages. Any interaction I gave her just made it worse.

💓💓

cover9339 Jul 24, 2025
No offense helplesshick, but your last sentence brought out the memory of the song "You Can't Win" by Michael Jackson.
helplesshick Jul 24, 2025
That must be where I heard it. It was too smooth for me to think of myself. Thanks.

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