Should I separate my parents for placement?

If your parents get along and enjoy each other's company, keep them together. Your mother may qualify for the VA center as a spouse of a veteran.

Wilmore6: Wishing you luck on such a personal decision.

Such a personal decision.
Depends (to me) if they remember or will remember and ask "where is xxx?"
You can always say, she's in the bathroom or at the store. Will he forget then?

I wouldn't tell them specifically though if you are separating them.
As they may not figure that out.

As they are used to being together, I think they may miss the other ... although between visits, staff, other residents, they may not notice the 'other' isn't there on a regular basis.

To save $ would be a necessity if I had to consider.
And, they aren't that far apart. It is - perhaps - a 'good walk' to visit one or the other. You are very fortunate that the VA is an excellent facility.

Let us know how what you decide.

Gena / Touch Matters

Wait until it doesn’t matter to separate them. That may never happen. Being together will make the transition so much easier for them.

I understand that the cost can be a huge part of the decision. I think them being together would always be the first choice if they get along well, but if the wait is longer and the cost is higher, I understand the dilemma. Is it possible for Dad to go to the VA, and for someone (maybe you) to occasionally pick him up to visit Mom at her facility? This may save money and still let them see each other. If they really miss each other, then maybe Dad can change to her place. Just a thought. Best of luck to you! ❤️❤️

Agree with Alva. This would kill some couples (if they were separated.)

If they need memory care, eventually they may not even know they are husband and wife. I would do what you need to do for yourself.

I frankly, if your parents remain close together and are cognizant, can't imagine separating them, other than temporarily if required.