Yes, I can imagine that is very difficult. Only you can make the decision about when it is time to accept that mother needs a level of care that has several shifts with several people on each shift. As you will know, there is no cure for end stage dementia symptoms. Your mom will likely never again understand who you are. The only "good thing" about this (and of course there ARE no good things about it) is that placement in care now will make quite honestly little difference to your mother at this stage of her dementia. I am so sorry. This is so tragic for all, and so difficult to deal with.
Is mom living with you..or you with her? Or is she in a facility? Even though she may not "know" you she does know that you are a person she trusts, a person she can count on being there and being kind to her. you are a "safe person"
The fact that her not knowing you is difficult for you I am going to take that to mean that she was/is a good mom and you had / have a good relationship with her. For that you are lucky, not everyone has that. So while she may not know YOU the important thing is YOU know HER. When you get a chance to sit with her talk to her just as you would have 10, 20 years ago. You never know what just might make it through and touch her.
When my mother didn't know me anymore, I cut down on my visits to her. She was in her home with a paid 24/7 caregiver. Instead of non-visiting, which every visit with her was by then, I got to work cleaning out her attic, her garage, going through paperwork, cleaning out drawers, home repair, hauling to the dump or thrift store, and all the other things that needed doing.
That way I could be useful and help her in ways that were necessary. There was no need to sit and watch her fold her shirt hem for an hour when she wasn't aware of anything, much less me.
Of course, I always spoke to her for a bit when I arrived and left. Sometimes she never even looked at me.
You get used to it, but it's best not to hope for much.
It is so disheartening. I guess we have to come at it from another perspective, such as Mom is getting to know me as the wonderful lady who takes care of her. Sometimes YouTube videos are very helpful. Try various searches, “dementia doesn't recognize me” brought up a lot of good ones. I particularly like Dementia Careblazers, Answers about Alzheimers, Dementia with Grace.
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Only you can make the decision about when it is time to accept that mother needs a level of care that has several shifts with several people on each shift.
As you will know, there is no cure for end stage dementia symptoms. Your mom will likely never again understand who you are. The only "good thing" about this (and of course there ARE no good things about it) is that placement in care now will make quite honestly little difference to your mother at this stage of her dementia.
I am so sorry. This is so tragic for all, and so difficult to deal with.
Even though she may not "know" you she does know that you are a person she trusts, a person she can count on being there and being kind to her. you are a "safe person"
The fact that her not knowing you is difficult for you I am going to take that to mean that she was/is a good mom and you had / have a good relationship with her. For that you are lucky, not everyone has that.
So while she may not know YOU the important thing is YOU know HER.
When you get a chance to sit with her talk to her just as you would have 10, 20 years ago. You never know what just might make it through and touch her.
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That way I could be useful and help her in ways that were necessary. There was no need to sit and watch her fold her shirt hem for an hour when she wasn't aware of anything, much less me.
Of course, I always spoke to her for a bit when I arrived and left. Sometimes she never even looked at me.
You get used to it, but it's best not to hope for much.
Sometimes YouTube videos are very helpful. Try various searches, “dementia doesn't recognize me” brought up a lot of good ones. I particularly like Dementia Careblazers, Answers about Alzheimers, Dementia with Grace.