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Middle1 Asked April 9, 2025

What comes in before full-time care?

My parents have been married 65 years. Dad takes care of Mom in their home. Mom is recently in a wheelchair full time and has dementia that seems to come and go. Dad is still completely lucid and capable of taking care of Mom except for lifting her. Now that she is in a wheelchair, what are the options for in-home help? He does not need full-time help, only occasional help with the physical issues. Where does he turn to find this?

JoAnn29 Apr 9, 2025
I hope her wheelchair the sides go up. This makes it so much easier to transfer her. Get a transfer board. They have shower chairs that go outside tge tub and then you slide the person into tge tub. A walk in shower is the best thing. Handheld shower head in the tub/shower. Bars on the wall.

Call their County Officebof Aging. Ask them if they can evaluate the house for things needed to help Dad.

Geaton777 Apr 9, 2025
Look into Care.com "Occasional help with the physical issues"... still may mean an in-home aid for most hours of the day since no one wants to commit to a gig where they are there to 30 minutes in the morning and 30 in the evening. Most good aids want a minimum of 30 hrs per week commitment. Your Dad will probably need 2 aids since he needs 7 days a week help. I think he starts by pondering what time of day he needs the most help. FYI 24/7 in-home help is as much or more than facility care. If your Mom is qualified for LTC by her doctor, this can be covered by Medicaid plus her SS income. Your Dad should consider consulting with her doctor and a Medicaid Planner for his home state (since rules can vary by state and this is a global forum). I wish you and your Dad success in finding the right solution for their situation now and into the future.

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AlvaDeer Apr 9, 2025
Your parents are quite young by today's standards.
Can you tell us more about why mom is requiring such intensive care right now? Her diagnosis and her prognosis. Your parents are my childrens' ages. My daughter is 63, SIL is 70. They are newly retired and enjoying life, but when illness comes things change with great rapidity.

Your father is requiring help. At this time that is going more than likely to come from care.com, and from attending meets at senior centers to see the availability of programs to provide respite and assistance, dependent on the needs of Mom. Also family participation if that's possible.
Your Dad should discuss with mom's doctor the progression expected here, and options for mom's help and care. Social Workers can be provided to give some guidance.
Wishing all the best of luck.
JoAnn29 Apr 9, 2025
They have been married 65 yrs, not 65 yrs old. So makes them in their 80s.

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