Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
C
chestershaba Asked December 2024

What do I do when every time I visit mom she says she "thought i was gonna sleep here too" when she has 1 tiny bed in her private room.

I have my own house and lots of animals. She's 91 w dementia. I can't go during the day or she's worse. She refuses to make friends with her housemates too. Never liked the fancy snf 3 yrs ago either, refused the group meals etc..only wants me.

AnnetteDe Dec 2024
Keep it simple. Not tonight mom I have another commitment. Next time visit at bedtime. Lay down with her, or sit on the side of the bed till she's asleep. Reading to her might help lull her into sleep.

lealonnie1 Dec 2024
Tell her they do not allow family members to sleep over at the residence she lives at.

ADVERTISEMENT


Daughterof1930 Dec 2024
You accept the changes that dementia has brought. You understand she’s not responsible for her statements or unreasonable comments. You respond in love and caring, but make no false promises, “mom, this is your home and I love visiting you, then I must return to my home, but I will come see you again soon” She may always want only you, but that doesn’t mean that’s how it will be. Do the best you can and ask no more of yourself or mom. I wish you both peace

AlvaDeer Dec 2024
You are looking at the face of dementia. This is what it is. Everyone is different and it effects everyone differently. You simply deflect as well as you can. Don't spend a long time on visits because that will seldom help matters at all.
If you watch some Teepa Snow videos (free on youtube) you will see many interactions that, while they will not mirror your own, will show you some of the unique actions and interactions, and give you a more thorough overall base of understanding.

I know that this is heartbreaking; I am so sorry.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter