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BadCopDIL Asked April 2023

What do you do when your aging father-in-law pees in the tub and claims that it was the children?

Grandma1954 Apr 2023
You begin to accompany him when he uses the bathroom.
End of story.
There is nothing in your profile about FIL
If he is not cognizant then accompanying him EACH time he goes to the bathroom is a must.
If he is cognizant and he is living with you then hubby puts his foot down and begins the process of looking for another place for him.
Cleaning the bathroom from this point on, until FIL moves out is now your husbands job.

gladimhere Apr 2023
Accept it, clean it out. Move on to finding him another place to live. This situation is clearly not working for anyone.

Always remember to never scold dementia, you will always be wrong. You cannot explain or reason with dementia.

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ZippyZee Apr 2023
Is he actually taking a bath when he does this? Or just using it instead of the toilet? I mean, everyone pees in the shower, right?

Right?…
cwillie Apr 2023
LOL
Catskie62 Apr 2023
Alot of men have bad aim or don't lift the seat. My ex bf did the toilet seat thing..yuck! Good luck

NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
I’m with everyone else on this matter. Be extremely grateful that he isn’t peeing all over the house!

Yeah, it’s annoying but it could be a whole lot worse.

You haven’t gone into detail about your father in law. Is he visiting your home? Does he live at your home? Does he have dementia? Please fill in the blanks for us.

JoAnn29 Apr 2023
Love you ID, its so true

You have nothing on your profile about FILs health problems and if Dementia is involved. I kind of wish my Dad had used the tub. I was cleaning his bathroom everyday. If he had, he would also be rinsing it out. If you don't have a hand held shower head, get one and have him rinse the tub out. If this is because of Dementia, I would start looking for a place for him because its only going to get worse. If he can afford it, Memory care. If not, a nice Long-term care facility with Medicaid paying for his care.

funkygrandma59 Apr 2023
You clean it out. Would you rather he pee all over your floor?
Welcome to the world of dementia.

MargaretMcKen Apr 2023
I’m wondering if he pees in the empty tub because his aim is not too good anymore, and he thinks it will be less obvious than if he misses the toilet - especially if you have fluffy things on the floor. It might be worthwhile seeing if he would pee sitting on the toilet seat. My DH does this at night because it’s quieter, and we are both very light sleepers.

Some men seem to think that its ‘cissy’ to pee sitting down, which of course is rubbish, but it might explain what’s going on. A change of habit is a lot less drastic than moving him out!
Beatty Apr 2023
Aim issues. Good sleuthing I reckon.
pamzimmrrt Apr 2023
I used to co own a cleaning company ,, and we had a client who was a bit of a hoarder and her son lived in the basement. I had the joy of cleaning his shower,, where he peed instead of the toilet. I gagged alot! I would start the water on hot and let it run while I cleaned his room. And he was in his 40s and no issues,, just an A..hole. Not my water bill,, not my problem!

AlvaDeer Apr 2023
Take some hot water and wash it down the drain.

Be glad that he is using the tub, and not somewhere worse I guess.

Worry about what's coming next.

That's pretty much what I would do. Then I would tell the kids, have a good laugh, and hope FIL wasn't right!

lealonnie1 Apr 2023
Drain the tub immediately.
MJ1929 Apr 2023
😂😂
Fawnby Apr 2023
You find him another place to live. A person who does this likely has cognitive issues and belongs in a facility where he can get the care he needs.

This can’t get better, and your children don’t deserve to have this situation in their home.

Good luck!

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