With the Thanksgiving, and possibly Christmas, holidays coming up, my husband and I were thinking of possibly going out to dinner with my daughter who lives with us rather than preparing a huge meal at home. Two of our three children are out of state, and due to various circumstances, won't be coming home for the holiday, which is totally fine and we understand and respect that. My dilemma is my 90 year old father, who is currently living in an assisted living facility. He is pleasantly confused and incontinent. He wears Depends, but argues, and refuses usually, about getting up to go the the restroom to try and go every hour or so, but then ends up totally blowing through them and making a catastrophic mess all over the place including chairs, the floor, all over the place in public waiting rooms, and then I have to drive him home when he is covered with this mess. The thought of having to bring an entire set of clothes with me and trying to get him cleaned up and redressed in a public restroom every time I have to take him some where is not worth the stress. Even getting him to doctor's appointments just isn't worth the stress it causes me. At a recent appointment, he took himself to the restroom, had a bowel movement that came up his back and out the top of his pants, all over every where in the bathroom - which had to be totally shut down until they could get it cleaned up - and then came out and sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room like that. Any time he floods out his pants, he refuses to get cleaned up and just argues that he is fine and that it will dry. I feel like a total loser for just wanting a nice, calm, pleasant day out with my family for a change. What is a daughter to do?