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Mungaray Asked March 2023

Brother kidnapped my 82 yr old mother, and took her to a facility and won't tell the family a word, He could care less about her wishes of living at home. Any advice?

lealonnie1 Mar 2023
Kidnapping is against the law, call the police. But make sure the evil son isn't trying his level best, as mom's POA, to keep her safe which you're interpreting as "kidnapping". I've never met an elder who ASKS to go into managed care, yet would live a disastrously dangerous life alone "aging in place at home" which is basically a delusion for most.

NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2023
This post is so vague and the links to the past posts don’t add anything to clarify the situation, other than to prove that your postings were confusing then and still are now.

So, according to you, mom was kidnapped. Where was she during this kidnapping? How did this occur? Is she of sound mind?

“He took her to a facility.” How do you know this since you also say that he won’t tell the family anything? What grapevine did you hear this through?

“He could care less about her wishes of living at home.” Your profile is completely empty so we have absolutely no information on your mother’s health issues. Is she capable of living alone at home? Was she care for when she was home? Were you her caregiver and this is a dispute between you and your brother? Is mom playing one child against the other?

As I said, this posting is entirely too vague for anyone to understand what is going on.

Posters can speculate but you will not receive any feedback of real significance unless you provide more information with important details.

Good luck with resolving your issue whatever it really is.

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AlvaDeer Mar 2023
I imagine your brother is POA for a mom who is no longer capable of making her own decision. I would advise that you pay loving visits to your mom and assist and support your brother.

JoAnn29 Mar 2023
Your previous posts are from 2021. At that time your sister felt Mom had Dementia and you disagreed. Well now over a year has gone by and seems brother thinks Mom has gotten worse and has seen that she is put in a safe place.

To enter a long-term facility the person has to fit certain criteria. One being they have a Dementia and can no longer care for themselves. The facility does not just except this from a family member, they do their own evaluation and have a doctor involved. This happens especially if Medicaid is involved. They won't pay if a person does not fit their criteria.

I think you may be in denial and maybe some of your other siblings and because of this ur brother feels you will only make trouble. He is protecting Mom.

Were u willing to be Moms caregiver 24/7 in her home? Were any of your siblings willing to be Moms caregiver to keep her in her home? Maybe all work together to keep her in her home?

freqflyer Mar 2023
Here are some postings to help with the back story regarding Mungaray's Mom.

This was back in Oct 2021 when Mungaray's sister said their Mom has dementia https://www.agingcare.com/questions/who-helps-with-a-living-trust-470347.htm

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/do-you-help-with-lawyers-my-sister-told-the-family-that-my-mom-had-dementia-she-doesn-470219.htm

The above links aren't easy to read as there is no punctuation.

Geaton777 Mar 2023
If she's in a facility, they can't force her to stay if she is of sound mind and capable of making good decisions for her own welfare. If she lives at home (independently, without help from anyone) she needs to be able to do her ADLs, have a way to get groceries and supplies, cook for herself, have healthy hygiene, pay bills, afford to live in that home, etc.

Maybe your brother "kidnapped" her so that you will stop interferring with what is best/most realistic for her? Sometimes the caregiving decision boils down to the "least bad option".

BarbBrooklyn Mar 2023
Was your mother safe living at home?

Who was providing her care?

Beatty Mar 2023
Do you talk to your brother?
What's his side if the story?
Seems you may see things very differently - be great if your could discuss this & hear each other's viewpoint.

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