1) Do you have a Power of Attorney? If not, can you get mother to execute one? Tell her that without it, she will be controlled by the state if anything goes wrong, no rights for you or other family to work in her best interests. And she will pay heavily for the ‘privilege’ of being controlled by strangers.
2) If there is a POA, read it and find out when it ‘kicks in’? If M needs a doctor to diagnose dementia, tell her that it’s a requirement to go for a test as she’s coming up to 100. If you can activate the POA, you can fire the carers.
3) If neither of these options work, get some evidence about the caregiver abuse (of your mother, not you) that you think is happening. Then give the carers the option of you taking it to the police for prosecution, or them quitting. If your evidence is solid, M won’t need to fire them – they will exit left themselves.
4) Stop whatever support that you give to prop up the situation. Let it fall over. Then call APS.
5) If M gets a diagnosis saying that she has legal capacity, give up. Stay away, and don’t let yourself get upset about something you can’t fix.
Is your mom telling you this or have you witnessed it ? My father makes up stories and Plays victim - No idea why he does it ? Milk doesnt cost $ 2 - groceries dont cost $20 - You Have to Pay your taxes and your Bills these are realities . its One thing to break your ass caring for someone and giving up your Life only for the elderly person to Make up stories . We are Not Living in the depression era . Its very Difficult dealing with someone who is paranoid and Lazy . So Not sure what to tell you . APS does sh.t , The police really Don't Care , call the elder abuse hot Line - Nothing . Call a Elder attorney or lawyer - Nothing But spending $10,000 . So the Reality Is " is your Mom Making up stories for attention ? " because they Do do that and it gets Old quick . Especially people who Like to be in control and sh.t on other people . They dont become Nice because they are Old .
sugarpi1, curious where are you getting the information that the caregiver is stealing, drugging and is verbally abusive?
I see in your profile that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia, so please note that is not uncommon for someone with memory issues to make up stories. It would be unfair to accuse someone of those things when, in fact, it is not happening.
Your Mom has a Dementia, she can no longer make informed decisions. If you have proof, call APS and ask them to investigate. Tell them you know Mom needs more care but have no way of knowing how to go about it. You are not willing to do that care because she is abusive. You need to get her into Long-term care?
Get rid of this caregiver. There are amazing caregivers out there. Do your research and hire someone who will do will adequately assist your loved one.
Report any crimes committed against an elderly person. Reporting them will prevent them from harming not only your loved one but others as well.
Go to the police with your evidence, if you have evidence.. According to your profile you are not the POA and your elder insists on using these caregivers you do not like, or suspect of stealing. If your elder is not incompetent then she is in charge of who cares for her. As I said, if you have evidence and proof of stealing you should go to the police or involve Adult Protective services. If you elder is incompetent then the POA, guardian or conservator should fire people they find to be stealing.
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1) Do you have a Power of Attorney? If not, can you get mother to execute one? Tell her that without it, she will be controlled by the state if anything goes wrong, no rights for you or other family to work in her best interests. And she will pay heavily for the ‘privilege’ of being controlled by strangers.
2) If there is a POA, read it and find out when it ‘kicks in’? If M needs a doctor to diagnose dementia, tell her that it’s a requirement to go for a test as she’s coming up to 100. If you can activate the POA, you can fire the carers.
3) If neither of these options work, get some evidence about the caregiver abuse (of your mother, not you) that you think is happening. Then give the carers the option of you taking it to the police for prosecution, or them quitting. If your evidence is solid, M won’t need to fire them – they will exit left themselves.
4) Stop whatever support that you give to prop up the situation. Let it fall over. Then call APS.
5) If M gets a diagnosis saying that she has legal capacity, give up. Stay away, and don’t let yourself get upset about something you can’t fix.
It’s a tricky one.
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I see in your profile that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia, so please note that is not uncommon for someone with memory issues to make up stories. It would be unfair to accuse someone of those things when, in fact, it is not happening.
Your mom has the control, let her have it and good luck to her.
Report any crimes committed against an elderly person. Reporting them will prevent them from harming not only your loved one but others as well.
According to your profile you are not the POA and your elder insists on using these caregivers you do not like, or suspect of stealing. If your elder is not incompetent then she is in charge of who cares for her. As I said, if you have evidence and proof of stealing you should go to the police or involve Adult Protective services.
If you elder is incompetent then the POA, guardian or conservator should fire people they find to be stealing.
If this isn't a hired caregiver, the POA should step in and consult a lawyer.
Or file a police report.