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kitkat620 Asked August 2022

My Mom is moving into a nursing home leaving two unfriendly cats behind. Any advice?

I'm at a loss. My mom has been living with my brother out of state for 6 months because of her declining health. She has become too hard to handle for him and we are working on getting her into a suitable facility.


 


Meanwhile, she has 2 cats left at home who I have been checking on and feeding a few times a week. In all the time she has been gone, I have not seen either cats once. Even when she was living at home, she would comment to me that the cats only came out when it was feeding time. No cuddle time, hardly, if ever even touched them. Basically, I consider them indoor feral cats. (She had brought the mother cat in when she was pregnant years ago, she had her kittens and we were able to find homes for all except the one male, who is the second cat at the house.)


 


What I'm asking is, has anyone had this experience and where do I turn for help?


 


Sorry if this is way off topic for a caregiver forum, I am just at a loss on where to turn for help. I live in the suburbs of Chicago, if that helps.

JoAnn29 Jan 2023
This post is from Sept.

JeanLouise Jan 2023
Happy for you a solution was found for mom’s cats. The occasional unkind comments on this forum boggle the mind. Here’s to better days ahead.

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Grandmaofeight Jan 2023
Find a no kill shelter so they can be rehomed.

Sadinroanokeva Jan 2023
great news

kitkat620 Sep 2022
thank you everyone for you responses. I found a local rescuer who has agreed to take the cats, spay the one and try and find a barn for them to be placed. She seems to think that is the only viable option.

I'd like to add a side note to the people posting about people being "selfish or lazy" when refusing to spay/neuter. My mother honestly thought she was doing the cats good by taking in a pregnant outdoor mother cat, like she honestly thought she was helping the outdoor feral cats by feeding them. I had told her numerous times either wasn't a good idea, but, obviously my mother, as well as many other mothers, did what she felt was right.

Sometimes, things are out of our control until we are forced to deal with the aftermath of poor decisions and a bad situation.

lindaf1339 Sep 2022
They do not seem to want human companionship. You do not want them and neither will anyone else. Don't leave animals to suffer, put them to sleep so they can be happy and so can you for doing the right thing. No one can rehab cats that will be missing their owner and rejecting a new owner. Know from experience.

AlvaDeer Sep 2022
Not off topic at all. A common problem of caregivers and those dealing with their elders involve pets.
I would take the pets to a shelter. I would tell her the pets have gone to a shelter and that they will be rehomed if that is possible. In home ferals are uncomfortable all their lives in their homes, afraid and timid, basically living lives of misery. I would make it known to the shelter the conditions of their lives so far. A merciful euthanasia is preferable in my humble opinion to foisting such animals onto an unsuspecting adopter, where the misery of pets and guardians is simply compounded.
I have a distant family member with such pets, and it is quite honestly nothing but sad for all involved.
kitkat620 Sep 2022
thank you for your response. I was able to get ahold of a rescuer who will take the cats and try to find barn homes for them.
freqflyer Sep 2022
kitkat620, we also need to realize that your Mom's cats are confused as to what happened to their trusted owner. Cats, like many other animals, will morn the lost of a love one who is no longer in the house. Every day they are hoping your Mother will return.

I found the best way to communicate with the cat is to be down at their level, thus sitting on the floor [if possible] and using a thin rope [like a clothes line] to get their attention. If they are hiding under the bed, just drag the rope slowly back and forth, eventually a paw will reach out to snag the rope. After that, the next visit sit a couple feet back, using the rope to get their attention. Rinse. Repeat. Eventually a pair of eyes will be peeking out to see who is playing with them =^..^=

AliBoBali Sep 2022
Hi kitkat, I live in Chicago and know a little about local cat shelters. I recommend you call Harmony House and see if you can surrender the cats directly to them. If not, they will know about other local rehoming shelters that may have openings to take them now. And Chicago has an animal care & control center where you can drop off as well, and the local shelters work with them to place as many as possible.

Maybe the cats need socialization, or maybe they're beyond that. I think professionals should assess them, and they can determine how to proceed.

My cat was born feral. She is still skittish in many ways and likes to hide away. I don't read too much into the hiding behaviors, which is what I suspect is happening when you go to feed them a couple of times a week. My cat is a wonderful house cat though not a cuddly/social type, and it takes some effort to get her to engage in different things. It can be done, and I love her personality. Obviously, I don't know about these two cats, but it would be best to have them assessed by pros who've seen this before.

TNtechie Sep 2022
Well... you could look for a sucker...

Last year a friend of the family unexpected passed and left behind two older small indoor dogs. They now live an outdoor life (except for winter evenings they spend in a heated garage) and seem happy running and barking at everyone who moves in the yard. We're up to 5 dogs now in the family compound: one 3 legged pit bull who was adopted as my grand-nephew's defender, one golden (when clean) doodle who loves taking a muddy bath in the creek, one Heinz 57 mix who came with my nephew's wife's neices, and the two latest additions. They get along well but sometimes when they ALL come to greet the car it can be an overwhelming amount of doggie affection.

That said, sometimes you need to face reality. Feral cats don't have many placements options. In my rural community, many people believe a quick death is more "humane" than allowing an animal to be mistreated or suffer hunger and thirst. Since you need to place your mother, I suggest trapping the cats and if you cannot find a good placement seeing a vet about euthanasia. A picture of the trapped cats being taken away "to a good home" (cat heaven) may comfort your mother.

MissGypsy Aug 2022
There are non-profit organizations that specialize in cat care, fostering and home placement who know individuals who work very well with feral and non-socialized cats. In Pennsylvania we have the state SPCA and many other fine, reputable organizations. Check online and/or touch base with area vets for referrals.

JoAnn29 Aug 2022
I had cats for 37 yrs, 4 of them. I would never take a mean one. Feral cats are very hard to domesticate. My daughter worked for a no kill shelter. They had a room just for feral cats. They do not socialize with nor like domestic cats. They will not take feral cats if they are over crowded. The State only allows so many cats and dogs at a no kill shelter. Feral cats rarely get adopted.

My niece has a community of feral cats behind her house. There is a grant if the cats are caught, for $40 each, a Vet will spay. She has asked that people not drop off their domestic cats because the feral ones will chase them away not allowing them food or water.

I would try to find a no kill shelter and be honest about the temperaments of the cats so they can be adopted to the right homes.

PeggySue2020 Aug 2022
You haven’t mentioned whether they are litter trained. Few people can put up with a cat who isn’t.

freqflyer Aug 2022
kitkat620, we have always had one or two cats at a time who were extremely shy whenever there was company in the house. But when it was just my partner and me in the house, the cats were out and about, friendly, fun loving, and a delight to be around.

The county animal shelter in my area is a no-kill shelter. One cat we have now had been adopted out four times and returned back to the shelter. The excuse was that he was too demanding. We adopted him, and yep he was very demanding but we found that comical. He finally adjusted, and each night for the past 3 years he will bring to me upstairs at night two of his favorite toys.

Playing with a cat will break the ice. Yes, it will take time for one to be trusting.
sp19690 Aug 2022
What a beautiful story. I love talkative kitty cats too. You are right that some cats do hide when strangers or company comes over but are very loving when it's just them and their people.
sp19690 Aug 2022
Truth is if they are ferel cats they will be euthanized by animal control. There are just too many cats and not enough homes. Thanks to selfish, lazy humans who refuse to spay and neuter.

And thanks to the inflation situation more people are dumping and getting rid of pets and many shelters are full.

Your best bet would be to Google cat rescues in your area or no kill humane society though there may be a substantial waiting list to be on.

Dumping them outside would be cruel since they have come to relie on regular feedings from mom and don't have actual hunting instincts like a true outdoor ferel would have.

Just a sad situation for the cats.
MargaretMcKen Aug 2022
Have to giggle: “What do we do with unwanted humans? People are the reason for this problem”, plus too many cats “thanks to selfish, lazy humans who refuse to spay and neuter”. Well, there’s your answer for humans!

Your Craig’s List cat may have been killed crossing the road – killing a cat isn’t easy, and if you’ve done that why would you dump it next to a road?
MargaretMcKen Aug 2022
I won’t post my usual comment about unwanted cats, feral or otherwise, because it never goes down well. However it may help to know that cage cat traps are available (not cheap to buy, but the Council or shelter should have one). We bait ours with a sardine tin, after eating most of the sardines, and they go for it even if they’ve never seen a fish (which is a bit puzzling). Unfriendly cats are very difficult to deal with, so approach the trap with heavy duty gloves.
sp19690 Aug 2022
What do we do with unwanted humans? People are the reason for this problem.
Frebrowser Aug 2022
I'd suggest working with a local rescue group to trap the cats so you can get a good look at them.

The rescue may be able to arrange for fostering until a "garden cat" adoption can be found.

If there are funds available and Mom cares about the cats, it would be good to make a suitable donation to the rescue, which should be a 501c3 charity,

Grandma1954 Aug 2022
You could contact Animal control OR local Animal Shelter they may have volunteers that would come and try trapping them.
I have to wonder why it has taken you 6 months to find homes for them.

Fawnby Aug 2022
In some places, there are cat rescue services. You might luck out and find one where you live. Another option is veterinarians and pet stores, who often have bulletin boards where you can post a Free Cat To Good Home picture and details. If you have a Facebook or Instagram account post there frequently and be sure to include a picture.

MJ1929 Aug 2022
Free to good home offer on Facebook Marketplace is a good option. If there's a Facebook page for that neighborhood, post them there, too.
Frebrowser Aug 2022
I'm sorry to say that bad things can happen to cats that are given away for free.

Trigger warning (bad things happening to pets) https://www.peta.org/issues/animal-companion-issues/animal-companion-factsheets/dangers-free-good-home-ads/
BarbBrooklyn Aug 2022
KitKat, welcome! I just pinger a cat-owning poster who I believe lives in the Chicago area.

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