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Arla9510 Asked April 2022

How do you deal with an 87-yr-old with dementia who has a fixation on a young man (25) who reminds her of her husband?

TChamp Apr 2022
This is a rather common situation with dementia patients. I knew a woman who thought that her young son was her boyfriend. There is nothing you can do.

KatyKat Apr 2022
That would depend on whether he's someone, like a neighbor or a health care aide, who has regular contact with her OR if it's just someone on the radio or TV screen. If it's the latter, I'd say not to worry -- it'll blow over, especially if you don't feed the demon by encouraging conversation about it. However, if the man is someone real in her life, beware. The younger man may be Mom's new Best Friend, in other words, a scammer.

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lealonnie1 Apr 2022
If this 'fixation' is causing no problems for either party, then leave it alone. Without more details, we really can't give you concise advice or answers. You may want to expand on the situation a bit.

JoAnn29 Apr 2022
Are you caring for this friend in your home, her home or is she in a facility?

Who is the young man she is fixated on? This is very common with people suffering from a Dementia. They have no idea they are old. If in a facility they will latch on to someone of the opposite sex thinking is a husband or wife. Telling them otherwise does not change their minds. My daughter says they will get aggressive if u try to pull them apart.

You have to kind of play along. Does it embarrass the 25 yr old. If so, then like said restrict access. I know a guy who would have just played a long.

vegaslady Apr 2022
Restrict access.

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