Grandson picked up mom from rehab against medical advice. Who is liable if something happens to her?
I just got a call from the rehab facility. They told me my mom left the facility with her grandson against medical advice. She left the wheelchair at the front entrance. Who is liable if something happens to her?
I just received a call from corporate saying my Mom was discharged last night. I said, then why did her nurse call me and say she left AMA with her grandson? The liaison then said, "your moms discharge papers were started and she just decided to leave abruptly but I will look into it some more." I let her know that I am no longer involved. I explained to her the ins and outs of this whole mess and she said she will make a call to APS to ensure they are aware and have the social worker contact my mom to follow up on home care. The liaison suggested that I "try to get Mom to sign POA". No. I am not doing that. After her threatening to SUE her own daughter thinking I would fraudulently make a call to her insurance in the attempt to file an appeal to keep her there?!? She also said "your mom made it clear she does not want you involved". Perfect. I am officially done. No more calls. I did my due diligence and gave them the information they need and now I can have piece of mind knowing they are aware of a possible unsafe discharge home.
Completely rhetorical: if your mom made it "clear" to the rehab center that "she does not want you involved", then why on Earth are they calling you, and then suggesting you seek to be mom's POA? I mean, if she's competent enough to make the decision about a POA and doesn't want you, then that's that, and the facility has no business "recommending" this to you; if she's not competent enough to make that call, she probably shouldn't be discharged in the first place! Thank goodness you had already made up your mind! I can see many other people who might already riding the guilt train leaping even further into the quagmire upon a comment like that from a person representing a medical facility!
Sometimes, you just gotta wonder what people are thinking when they make these stupid comments.
You really need to just cut of contact with Mom and escape this craziness. It will do nothing but cause you extra grief and stress. Her self-created problems are her own, not yours to endlessly solve. You don't mention anything about Dementia/Alzh in your profile, so I'm assuming she is of clear mind. She can make her own decisions and suffer the consequences.
Tajann, you've got to assume that MOM signed her discharge papers.
That makes MOM responsible.
Step back. Let whatever will happen happen.
Like most manipulative folks, your mom has a crew of "flying monkeys"--gullible folks who will swoop in to do her bidding when you step back. Allow them to.
This situation is not within your control. And if she calls with an "emergency" call 911 and let THEM handle it.
Give the hospital your sister's/nephew's numbers when they call.
I agree with Isthisrealyreal: wash your hands of this insanity. Your mother wants nothing to do with you? FINE. Have nothing to do with her. She wants out of rehab AMA? Fine, she's out. She has herself to blame now if/when her grandson (your son?) has to take her back to the hospital and if Medicare turns her down for another stint in rehab. Actions have consequences. Nobody has POA for her, if I recall your other posts, so SHE is responsible for HERSELF. There you have it.
Wish your son and your mother the very best of luck, but you have to move on with your own life now. You cannot care more about a person than they do about themselves.
You can call adult protective services and talk to them about the situation. This does not mean that you are accusing your nephew of abuse, only that you have serious concerns because he came from out of town, has not been part of her life or her care in the past (year or more?). That's a reason to be concerned. The report may or may not be screened in for investigation. If they do decide to investigate, the person or persons who made the report are not ever named by the APS workers. It is possible that the nursing home filed an APS report already...a second one from a family member might raise the case to an investigation. Or, detach....you've been taking of your mother for a while, your sister is not getting the picture at all...
If anyone (rehab, police, EMS, your mother, sister or family) contacts you, I would say "Going forward, on the advice of my lawyer, I can have no involvement with my mother's affairs."
IANAL, but this is what any attorney will tell you if you are threatened with being sued.
You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
IANAL is an internet initialism that stands for “I am not a lawyer.” It's usually used by non-lawyers who want to clarify that their legal opinions aren't legal advice.
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Pure and simple, this is the ONLY way your mom is going to get the help she needs.
The rehab will most likely alert Adult Protective Services. Let the system work. Do NOT step in.
Completely rhetorical: if your mom made it "clear" to the rehab center that "she does not want you involved", then why on Earth are they calling you, and then suggesting you seek to be mom's POA? I mean, if she's competent enough to make the decision about a POA and doesn't want you, then that's that, and the facility has no business "recommending" this to you; if she's not competent enough to make that call, she probably shouldn't be discharged in the first place! Thank goodness you had already made up your mind! I can see many other people who might already riding the guilt train leaping even further into the quagmire upon a comment like that from a person representing a medical facility!
Sometimes, you just gotta wonder what people are thinking when they make these stupid comments.
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It added clarity to my decision of stepping out of any care role. All F.O.G. lifted. Crystal clear now.
That makes MOM responsible.
Step back. Let whatever will happen happen.
Like most manipulative folks, your mom has a crew of "flying monkeys"--gullible folks who will swoop in to do her bidding when you step back. Allow them to.
This situation is not within your control. And if she calls with an "emergency" call 911 and let THEM handle it.
Give the hospital your sister's/nephew's numbers when they call.
Your mom is a competent adult and she is responsible for her actions.
Praying this wasn't your son.
Wish your son and your mother the very best of luck, but you have to move on with your own life now. You cannot care more about a person than they do about themselves.
Completely detach. It won't be easy for you, but that is the only way the system will work as it should.
The report may or may not be screened in for investigation.
If they do decide to investigate, the person or persons who made the report are not ever named by the APS workers.
It is possible that the nursing home filed an APS report already...a second one from a family member might raise the case to an investigation.
Or, detach....you've been taking of your mother for a while, your sister is not getting the picture at all...
If anyone (rehab, police, EMS, your mother, sister or family) contacts you, I would say "Going forward, on the advice of my lawyer, I can have no involvement with my mother's affairs."
IANAL, but this is what any attorney will tell you if you are threatened with being sued.
You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
IANAL is an internet initialism that stands for “I am not a lawyer.” It's usually used by non-lawyers who want to clarify that their legal opinions aren't legal advice.