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LizinPA Asked December 2021

Mom is doing poorly. Advice?

We lost Dad 10 years ago on Christmas Day. Now, here it is almost Christmas and Mom is in terrible shape. She is hallucinating several times a day. She is terribly congested and such. Her PCP says she can't see her. Called the ambulance. They said the ER is packed call the PCP and because she wasn't in imminent danger refused to transport. We're back and forth. I don't know anymore

lealonnie1 Dec 2021
An Assisted Living 'facility' is what's saved my mother's life many times, to be honest with you. She's gone from the AL into the Memory Care bldg in 2019 after her dementia got pretty advanced. Now (and in AL) her primary care doctor comes to see HER a couple days a week in the MC; so does the hospice team who bathe her and do hands on care for her in a way that I never could, being only one human being. The team of caregivers at the MC are extraordinary as well; I can't say enough about what they do for her. Just 2 weeks ago, the CG suspected a UTI and notified the nurse who ordered a urine test 2 hours later. Sure enough, it was a UTI and the doc called in antibiotics that arrived later that day. The 'facility' diagnosed pneumonia twice in my mother and she was hospitalized immediately as a result, otherwise she probably would have died years ago. Just today, mom's oxygen dipped down very low & the hospice nurse ordered a portable oxygen unit for her to be delivered immediately. She called me on the phone to let me know what was happening and I was very grateful for the update.

Before you make a statement about 'never putting mom in a facility', think about situations such as you are facing right now, and how such a thing would never happen if she were living IN a 'facility' such as Assisted Living where a staff of nurses and the like are there 24/7, Covid or no Covid. There are huge pros to managed care, which many people don't take into consideration due to the 'stigmas' they've attached to 'facilities'. Once this episode is over with, reconsider your decision, in your mother's best interest.

Sending many prayers that you were able to find a solution to your mother's health crisis.

BarbBrooklyn Dec 2021
Liza, how are you all doing?

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Grandmaofeight Dec 2021
You might consider Palliative or Hospice care? They can handle medical needs for her such as UTI’s which this could be. I dealt with this with my Mom and my MIL is back in the hospital for the millionth time with a UTI at age 96.

for my Mom I request maintenance meds for UTI and she has been fine ever since. She is DNR and on Hospice so no more needless rides to the hospital.

have you considered assisted living to better care for her physical needs? Can she afford a pan aid to come to the home?

AlvaDeer Dec 2021
Given the levels of covid and the overwhelm in many hospitals now, they may be already on diversion and triage for ambulances. Do you have O2 saturation measurement device, the oximeter? Go to any good drugstore for one. Are the hallucinations new. You can also get dip stick looking for any sign of a UTI and they will order you antibiotics in this national emergency likely rather than see her in ER. Wishing you good luck. Does she remain full resucitation? I myself am 80 and have my advanced directive and POLST; I will not be taking up ER room at this point and all are aware I am not to be transported to care; do you know what her wishes are/were? Are you her POA?

JoAnn29 Dec 2021
Do you have one of those Emergency clinics near you? I would call there and see if they could check her. Ask if they Xray because that congestion could be pneumonia and I would say thats "imminent danger". Does your Mom not see a neurologist? If so, call him/her about the hallucinations.

My question would be though...why her PCP cannot see her?

Is Mom on Hospice? If not, maybe you should consider it. I just lost a classmate to Parkinsons at 72. It got to be where his wife, a nurse, could not care for him anymore so she had to place him in a Nursing facility.

Ariadnee Dec 2021
In your bio, you said you wouldn't put Mom in a facility of any kind. Your choice-but....I'm so sorry, this is what happens. Especially in light of the surge in COVID cases right now in Pa. You could drive her to the hospital-find one that's a good distance from you, but it might be a very long wait to be even roomed, let alone seen by anyone. Other choices would be a walk in clinic, call a nursing service to come and asses your Mom, call the ambulance service back-see if they could do a basic evaulation on her, or just ride this out, make an appointment to be seen by the PCP. Also, having lost your Dad this time of year, is making the caregiving stress that much worse for you, try to step back and re-asses the whole situation.

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