I'm trying to see this from her perspective but having difficulty. Mom is almost 80, she presents with cognitive decline as well as psychiatric issues ( I think primarily due to extreme trauma as a child)..she has a plethora of medical diagnoses..
COPD being one of them. She doesn't believe she actually has COPD ( in spite of the o2 she needs 24/7...the inability to " get a good breath"..etc..) she refuses to see the doctor...any doctor. This is very frustrating for her caregiver since she complains constantly regarding her symptoms..I would say she's taken on the victim role...in fact it's more like a trait she's been doing it for so long. The past couple times we've called emergency because she can recite the day and her name they can't take her against her will. I'm really afraid she's just going to lie in that bed for the remainder of her life. It's very sad to watch this happen...can anyone relate with this? I just need to feel like I'm not alone.
You can't care more about someone's health than they do.
I'll remember this for if/when my mom gets to that point eventually. I strongly believe in not suffering and not artificially prolonging one's life.
I am learning that I SHOULDN'T care more about her health than she does. I've backed way down but it's soooo hard and sad.
My mom complains endlessly about every ache and pain, sometimes about her incontinence, sometimes about X, Y, Z. BUT will she do anything about it? NO. They only things that get taken care of are the things I push real hard on.
She could resolve many of her aches and pains with PT. HAHAHA that's a good one. Will she do any exercises without a PT leading her through them. Nah. Her hip is bothering her - I don't ask much about it cuz I know that it's just an uphill battle to get her to agree to go to the doctor and I'm 99% sure the answer it, you guessed it, PT. So, I just pretty much ignore it and see if/when she's ready to take action. I had to basically force her to get her knees replaced because she was in a lot of pain, knees giving out, etc. She would probably be in a wheelchair now if I hadn't done that. I wanted her to stay mobile and be able to remain more independent. If she doesn't, she'll end up in a facility, which she won't like either.
It is very sad when they don't give a hoot about taking care of themselves and being able to enjoy their remaining years. It's just maddening to me. I just don't get it. Why be so passive and just let everything just wash over you and get worse and worse without even putting up a fight? UGH.