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Jayepea Asked October 2021

Already burned out caregiver. How do I keep from going crazy?

I recently allowed my 95 mother move in with me after a fall and UTI. The rehab said it was unsafe to go back to her home alone. I have a full time job, but recently had to take paid family leave for 3 months. I am already getting burned out and its only been 2 weeks. I have a relative that agreed to receive me but after 3 hours she wants to go back home. I thought about hiring a caregiver but they want 35.00 an hour and me to sign a contract with them. I declined this. My mother has good and bad days. Days she wants to go out shopping and days she wants to sleep all day. I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do. She has minimal services setup from the rehab. But that doesn't cover respite care. How do I keep from going crazy and go back to work full time with her living here?

ravensdottir Oct 2021
It will cost something, whether someone comes to your home or Mom goes back home, to assisted living, or to a nursing/rehab facility. Payment could be through VA if she's a veteran or veteran's widow, State resources...

The Administration on Community Living under the US Administration on Aging has a directory of caregiver resources searchable by zip code: eldercare.acl.gov. You can also talk (800-677-1116), email, or chat with an information specialist.

Arranging for and monitoring your LO's care is also a form of caregiving.

Best wishes to you and Mom.

BurntCaregiver Oct 2021
First off, if you're going to hire an in-home caregiver get a private one. Go on care.com and start interviewing potential hires. Offer $20 an hour and you'll get a good person with references.
In the meantime start looking at care facilities because unless you have live-in help at your house or can quit your job to be her 24/7 caregiver you will have to place her.
Start looking at facilities now because many times there are waiting lists to get into one.

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