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Onlyonechild Asked October 2021

I have a mother that lives about 800 miles away. She has 2 months of funds left. Her house is up for sale, but not selling. Advice?

My mom lives in a “ locked” memory care unit due to memory loss. It costs about $8,000 per month.
I’m in healthcare and work full time. I have an adult special needs child (she lives alone and higher functioning). I’m the only child.
I want to move mom here in state where I live. I’ve taken a lot of time off to assist mom this year already (about 6wks FMLA).
The lawyer I consulted with in my state wants 5K to file Medicare documents. I don’t have any money for any of this.
Help! I don’t know what to do.

Kmorel71 Oct 2021
I think you meant Medicaid documents, and $5,000 is a rip off. If she'll be staying with you the Medicaid documents are not difficult to fill out. I wouldn't fill out nothing until she moves to your state first. Medicaid doesn't transfer across state lines, each state have different rules. She can go to any facility in your state as "Medicaid pending" and they'll fill out the forms for her, you'll be ask to give them bank docs, so prepare. Good luck!

Isthisrealyreal Oct 2021
I would look for a board and care facility close to you and see if you cannot stretch that money for an extra month or 2.

Something is very wrong with the situation with her house, I would consult with another real estate agent and find out why it's not moving.

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lealonnie1 Oct 2021
Speak to the listing agent about reducing the price of her house and see what it would take to sell it quickly. Once you have liquid funds, then you can move mom to Florida to a less expensive Memory Care Assisted Living, use up the funds from the proceeds of the house sale, THEN apply for Medicaid. There are folks who can help you thru the process for under $1500. The social worker at the Skilled Nursing Facility you're interested in mom living in can give you the names and numbers of organizations to help you with that process, should you choose to go that route.

I would not move mom into your home if it were me. Working full time and trying to find caregivers to come in every day could easily turn into a nightmare.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation

Lizbitty Oct 2021
Can you start by moving her in with you? At least temporarily until her house sells? PSW’s have to cost less than 8 grand a month…. I read that you should contact Medicare directly and ask to speak to a counselor? I think they can walk you through everything (though I may be wrong about this).

You’re in a pickle, there’s no denying. I would just really weigh doing the most for what I could afford.

Best of luck to you.

Daughterof1930 Oct 2021
I think it’s a great idea to move mom closer, you’ll be able to oversee her care much better. I’m assuming you meant Medicaid as you mention funds running out. The NH my mother was in had a secure memory care floor, and the facility had a full range of residents from private pay to Medicaid recipients. The business manager walked our family through the Medicaid application process at no cost to us. Start looking into options close to you and ask about a finance/business person who can help with Medicaid

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